


The Rub

by StillDreaming85



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-06-09 00:22:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 85
Words: 45,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6881683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StillDreaming85/pseuds/StillDreaming85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most mothers would do whatever it took to provide for their children, which was exactly what Bella Masen did when she found out her husband had left them. With the walls closing in and the debt collectors on her doorstep, how far was she willing to go?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is my new drabble type story. It's an old story that I posted a few years ago, but only got 4 chapters out before I took ill. For that reason I already have some of it written, some of you will have already read it.

Thanks to my old team that worked with the old chapters and to Sherry for looking over it again before I posted it.

And yes it was inspired by the TV show.

**Chapter 1**

"He's gone," I cried into the phone as soon as I heard Emily pick it up.

"Who's gone? What are you talking about?" She asked, her voice full of concern.

"Edward… He left me a note. He's gone… He's left me and the kids." My hand automatically went to my mouth as the words came tumbling out. I couldn't believe what I was saying. It couldn't possibly be true.

"Wait. What? What did the note say?" Emily asked.

"I'm sorry," I answered as I looked down at the two lonely words on the paper in my hand. "That's it." Seven years of marriage and that was all I got, all _we_ got. I didn't know if I should feel angry or hurt.

"Bella," Emily sighed. I knew she thought it was another one of those moments where I was overreacting about nothing, but I knew this time was different. I knew things hadn't been right between us for a while. I just never figured he would leave me… leave us.

"That could mean anything," she continued. "It could mean I'm sorry I used the last of the milk or I'm sorry that I broke your mother's vase. Have you tried calling him?"

"Yes," I whimpered as I remembered the message I received on his line. _'The number you are trying to reach is no longer in service. If you think, you've received this message in error_ _,_ _then please try again.'_ So I had, another twenty-two times and each one of those times, I received the same soul-destroying message.

He was gone.

That was when I had crumbled and finally called Emily. We had been best friends since kindergarten. She had always been able to fix anything she put her mind to, but I was beginning to wonder if this was beyond her capabilities.

"His phone's been disconnected," I whispered when I remembered she was still waiting for an answer.

"Where are you?" She demanded.

"At home," I answered as I glanced around the room. Everywhere I looked, I saw something that reminded me of him, of us. I ran my hand along the kitchen counter as the memory flooded my mind. This was where we had the most amazing make up sex last Friday night, after we had one of the most horrific arguments. He had snapped my head off for no reason. He had been doing it a lot lately. Something was bothering him, and it had been for a while now, but he wouldn't open up to me. He had been pushing me away, keeping me at arm's length. Maybe if he had let me help him, then we wouldn't be in this mess.

I looked over at the fridge and saw the photographs that littered the door, photos of him posing with me, or the kids. We all looked so happy. Had it all been a lie? I knew it hadn't been for me. I was ecstatic that he had chosen to be with me. Edward was my childhood sweetheart. The only man I had ever been with… the only man I had ever wanted. Was that what this was? Was there someone else? Was he with someone else? I walked closer; looking at the faces of my babies as my fingers gently traced their hair. How could he do this to them? They were going to be heartbroken. They idolized him and now they weren't going to see him again until… When? What do I tell them? How do I explain that I had no idea where their daddy was or when he would be coming back? Did he expect me to lie for him?

"Bella… Bella!" Emily shouted through the phone.

"I'm here."

"I'm on my way over," Emily said in a tone that left no room for argument.

I shook my head as the tears began to fall. "I… I have to go and pick the kids up from school."

"You're not fit to pickup the kids. I'll call Sam and have him go."

"Okay," I sighed. I didn't have the strength to argue with her and I wasn't sure if I was ready to face my babies just yet.

Emily hung up the phone as I sunk to the floor, wrapping my arms around my legs and letting my head fall into my knees. I couldn't hold it together anymore. My whole world was falling apart.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team for working on this chapter and for Sherry giving it a little polish xx

**Chapter 2**

Last night I had gone to bed worrying about what I was going to make for dinner, and now I had no idea how I was going to put dinner on the table. I've never had a job. I had fallen pregnant with Jackson straight out of high school and Olivia had followed shortly after. Edward had always insisted that I stay at home and look after the kids while he went out to work and brought home the bacon.

Who would want to hire someone my age with no experience?

I had no idea what we were going to do or how we were going to survive.

If we were going to survive.

I had no sense of how long I sat there on the kitchen floor, crying my heart out. I wasn't aware of anything but the pain that now resided inside of me, until I heard my mother's voice. "Bella… Bella… Bella, where are you?"

I lifted my head as she spotted me huddled on the floor.

"Oh honey," she said, as she dropped to her knees, pulling me into her arms. "Emily called me."

Of course, she did. I should have known she would have.

"How could he do this to my baby, to my babies?" She said as she pulled back and studied me with worried eyes. "When I see that asshole I'm gonna tear off his balls and force feed them to him. Who the hell does he think he is? Treating you like this. Running off without so much as an explanation. He's no good Bella," she growled.

I started crying again. I couldn't listen to this right now. I wasn't ready.

"Esme," Emily hissed, as she walked into the room. "You're not helping."

"He was never good enough for you," my mother continued, oblivious to how upset she was making me.

"Esme Platt!" Emily snapped. "I swear to god I'll send your ass back home if you don't shut up."

My mother jumped at the tone in Emily's voice, but with one look from her, she knew Em wasn't messing around. She made a gesture of zipping her lips and throwing away the key. I wondered how long that would last. My mother had always been outspoken. She often said things without thinking, but her heart was in the right place. She was kind and caring and would go above and beyond for anyone, especially her family, which made it easy to forgive her trespasses.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team for working on this and to Sherry for making it shiny.

Thank you to all of you for the interest in the story. Reviews/follows/favs. I am grateful xx

**Chapter 3**

"I brought wine," Emily said, holding the bottle up in the air for me to see. It happened to be my favorite, Martian Ranch Grenache Rose. "Why don't you get up off that floor and go over to the couch and I'll pour us all a glass." I nodded. A glass sounded good right about now, or perhaps a bottle.

My mother stood up and helped me to my feet. She placed her hands on my shoulders and she gently guided me towards the sofa as if I wouldn't be able to find the way on my own. I think she was scared to let me out of her sight. She took the seat beside me and we sat there in silence as she fidgeted with the hem of her dress. I knew she was dying to find out all the sordid details of my broken marriage, but she was trying her best to refrain from asking.

Emily brought us both a glass of wine. "I told Sam to keep the kids at our house for the night," she said, as she sat down on the sofa on the other side of the coffee table.

I shook my head. "No. I want them here, with me." Tonight was going to hard enough without being away from them.

"I'll stay the night with her," my mother said, as she patted my leg.

"No, Mom, I'd rather just get the first night over with on my own. I'll have the kids here to occupy me," I assured her. I just really didn't want her to stay here. I couldn't bear a night of her fussing all over me, not when all I wanted to do was cry.

"If that's what you want, but-"

"I'll text Sam," Emily said, butting in before my mom had a chance to argue about it. "I'll get him to feed the kids and do their homework before he brings them home."

"Thanks Emily. That would be great," I said, before knocking back the contents of my glass.

The thought of the kids coming home made me nervous. It wasn't that I didn't want to see them. I couldn't wait to hold them and to know that they were okay. I just didn't know what I was going to tell them. Every time I thought about what to say, I imagined their tiny, disappointed faces and it made my heart break even further. I knew I had to spare them from as much pain as possible, even if that did mean lying for him.

"Do you want another glass?" Emily asked.

I snapped out of my daze to see her standing next to me with the bottle of wine in hand.

I covered the top of my glass as I shook my head. "Not just now. I need a clear head for when the kids get back. I know they'll have questions that I'll need to answer."

Em nodded with approval. "I think that's a good idea."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team who worked on this and for Sherry who looked over it before posting x

FYI – Yes this will be a HEA and the TV show is The Client List.

**Chapter 4**

"So, did you have an argument? Are you sure this isn't temporary?" My mother asked. I turned around to see her critical eyes examining me.

"Esme," Emily warned.

"It's okay Em," I said, forcing a smile to assure her. I knew the quicker I gave my mom details, the sooner she would settle down. It wasn't as if she hadn't gone through her share of broken marriages. She would understand.

"We hadn't argued for days. In fact, today started just like any other day." It was one of the reasons it made his actions harder for me to understand. "I made Edward's lunch and saw him off to work. When he left he seemed happy enough, there was no longing goodbye, nothing to suggest that anything was off with him."

"After he was gone, I followed our usual routine. I got the kids dressed and ready for school. I dropped them off before meeting up with Rosalie for a coffee. After I had left the coffee shop, I went to the store to buy- Shit!" I said jumping up.

"What's wrong?" My mom and Emily asked in unison.

"The groceries are still in the trunk. I forgot all about them," I said, hurrying to the front door. I raced over to the SUV, opening the trunk, rummaging through the paper bags. It was just as I feared; all the frozen stuff was ruined.

"Great, just fucking great!" I shouted as I punched the door in frustration.

"What's wrong?" My mother asked, appearing at my side with Emily.

"All the frozen stuff has defrosted," I sighed.

"It doesn't matter. We'll replace it," my mother said, trying to console me.

"Yeah!?" I snapped. "With what money? In case you haven't noticed, Edward has fucking left me and I don't have a job."

"I'll help you out," she said, unfazed by my tone.

I shook my head. "Mom, you have a part-time job at a salon. You barely have enough to look after yourself."

"Hey, I do all right," she said, sounding offended.

I took a deep breath to stop myself from saying anymore. I was taking this out on her and none of it was her fault. It wasn't fair.

"I know. I'm sorry Mom," I sighed, feeling terrible for what I had said.

"It's okay," she said, pulling me into her arms. I think this woman would forgive me for almost anything.

I closed my eyes and absorbed the warmth and comfort she was offering as I hugged her back fiercely, even though it wasn't her arms in which I was pretending to be held in.

After a few minutes, she pulled away and broke the spell. I instantly felt lost and broken again. "Better?" She asked.

I nodded, even if it wasn't the truth.

"Good. Now let's get these groceries inside and put away before the kids come home."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team who worked on this and Sherry for working her magic x

The chapters to this story weren't originally in drabble length, so it's going to take a bit to get into the story. Hang tight. x

**Chapter 5**

I watched through the blinds as Sam's car pulled into the drive. I could see the kids sitting in the back seats singing and dancing. They looked so happy and carefree. It warmed my heart to see them like this, but I knew their happiness was about to dissipate the moment they entered the house to find out their dad was gone.

Sam had called to let me know that they were leaving and to warn me that the kids had been asking a lot of questions. Why was he looking after them? Where was Aunty Emily? Were Mom and Dad okay? When were they going home? Could they call home?

He hadn't been sure how to answer them, so he had done his best not to give them an answer, which I was sure wasn't an easy task. After all, they got their determined nature from me.

I took a deep breath to prepare myself as they jumped out of the car and started to make their way to the house.

"You'll be fine," Emily said, as she appeared behind me.

"It's not me I'm worried about," I said, as I turned around to face her, trying to swallow the lump that was now forming in my throat. Before she had a chance to reply Jackson burst in the front door. He quickly looked around the room, then made a beeline straight for me. I dropped to my knees and he ran right into my arms. It felt so good to hold him.

"Hey Mom," he said, as he wrapped his small arms around my neck and tucked his head into my shoulder.

"Hey." Was all I managed to say as I pulled him closer. I planted kisses all over the side of his head. I had missed him so much. It felt like an eternity had passed since this morning.

After a few minutes, he pulled back to look at me with a concerned look on his face. "Where's Dad?"

He had no idea how much that question tore me apart.

"He… ah." I looked behind him to see Olivia and I was grateful for the distraction. She was standing there watching the two of us with a sad look on her face. I peeled one arm away from Jackson and motioned for her to come over. She slowly walked over to us. I wrapped my arms around the two of them and pulled them close. They were my babies, my life. I never wanted to let them go. I placed kisses all over Olivia's face needing her to know I loved her just as much as Jackson. I never wanted them to question how much I loved them. I would always be there for them and I would make damn sure they knew it all the time **.**

My eyes started to well up as I thought about the kid's future. Would Edward be there? Would he be a part of their lives?

"Did you two have a good time with Uncle Sam?" I asked, trying to distract myself. I didn't want them to see me cry.

They both pulled away to look at me. I did my best to smile.

"Yes," Olivia answered with a grin. "He let us eat the chocolate pudding before the pizza."

"Oh, he did, did he?" I asked sending Sam a joking glare. "I think we'll need to have words."

"Oli you weren't supposed to tell," Jackson said, giving his sister an angry shove.

"Hey," I said firmly, as I grabbed his hand. "We'll have none of that. Mom was only teasing Uncle Sam. I don't mind that he treated you, you deserve it. Just don't expect me to serve chocolate pudding before dinner. Okay?"

They both nodded their head as I stood up.

"Where's Dad?" Jackson asked again. He was a smart little cookie. He had probably noticed I had avoided answering the first time.

"Well," I said, reaching for their hands and pulling them over to the couch. "That is something I wanted to talk to you about."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N** : Thanks to my old team for working on this and for Sherry making it shiny.

**Chapter 6**

I sat them down on the couch and took a seat on the coffee table in front of them, never letting go of their hands, which I think was more for my benefit than theirs. "Daddy had to go away for a little while," I said, knowing that wasn't going to be enough to satisfy their needs.

"Why?" Olivia whined.

I took a deep breath as I drew up the strength to answer. "To work… There wasn't enough work here in Fernley. So he's had to go away to make money."

"Why?" Jackson moaned.

"Well, do you want to keep this house and all the lovely things you have?" They both nodded. "Then Daddy has to go and work so we can keep them." I made a note to myself that I had to find out how much money we had left so I could figure out how long it would stretch until I found work. "Mom is going to find a job, too," I added, not wanting it to be a surprise when I finally did find work. They both giggled, which brought a small smile to my lips.

"Moms don't work," Olivia said, shaking her head.

"Some Moms do."

"What kind of job?" Jackson asked.

I shook my head. "I'm not sure yet darlin'."

Olivia yawned. They both looked worn out, and it was past their bedtime.

"Why don't I get you two ready for bed?" My mom asked, stepping forward. I had forgotten she was there.

I nodded. It sounded like a good idea and I could use a breather.

"I want to call Daddy and say goodnight," Olivia said as she picked up Honey, her worn teddy, from the sofa and folded her arms.

My bottom lip quivered. How could he do this? I asked myself for the thousandth time. Did he not realize how much they would miss him? How much I would miss him? I bit down on my lip, only releasing it when I was sure I had control of myself. "Daddy's phone is not working right now."

"Why not?" Olivia pouted.

I knew she was going to take this the hardest. She was a daddy's girl. "It broke."

"Is he going to get a new one?" she asked, as she rubbed Honey's ear between herfingers. It was what she did to soothe herself.

"I'm not sure," I sighed.

"When will he be back?" Jackson asked.

"I'm…" I quickly looked away from them as the tears began to sting my eyes and my lip started to shake. I wasn't sure I could hold them inside.

"Alright," mom said, clapping her hands, "that's enough questions for tonight. Time for bed."

They both moaned.

"C'mon," Emily said, stepping forward and pulling them both off the couch. "You heard Nana. Bedtime."

I held my breath as I listened to them drag their feet along the hall. It wasn't until I heard the bathroom door shut that I let go of the sob I was holding.

I would never forgive him for doing this.

"I'm sorry Bella," Sam said, as he dropped to his knees and pulled me into his arms.

"Yeah, me too," I said in response, but I wasn't exactly sure why. Falling in love with Edward Masen or becoming dependent on a man I thought I would always be here.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team and to Sherry who I would be lost without x x

**Chapter 7**

"Bella… Bella?" Sam said, "Are you listening?"

"Hmmm," I said, looking up from the glass of wine in my hand, the same one I had been nursing for the past hour. Emily had poured it for me after the kids had gone to bed, saying it would help me sleep, but I knew that nothing was going to help me sleep tonight. Edward was gone. My marriage was broken, and my kids were without a father.

"I was telling you that I had called around to the boys," Sam continued. "No one has spoken to or seen Edward for a few days, but I can't get a hold of Paul. I'm gonna try him again in the morning. If I have to, I'll head to his house and speak to Rachael."

I sighed. I didn't like Paul. He was shady, and if I thought for a minute, he had something to do with the reason Edward had left; then I was going to kill him. I honestly had no idea what Edward saw in him. He was a con man and a sleaze, and it wasn't as if Edward was short on friends. Why did he persist in keeping him around?

"Jacob is running a trace on his cards and sending his information to the borders." I nodded. Jacob was a friend of Sam's. I liked him. He was a genuinely nice guy, but we didn't see him a lot because his job kept him busy. He was a cop and often worked a lot of extra hours. Sam joked that he had married his job because he couldn't find a woman.

"I also called Alistair…" Sam said, hesitantly. Alistair was Edward's boss over at Nevada Construction. "He, uh, he said Edward no longer worked for them. That he hasn't worked for them for a while."

The glass slipped from my hand crashing onto the floor. The glass shattered as the contents bleed out onto the wood. "What?" I whimpered. "What do you mean he no longer works for them, and hasn't for a while?"

"I'm sorry Bella. He got fired or laid off a few months ago."

I stood and ran my hands through my hair. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Well, where's he been going everyday?" I asked, confused. It didn't make any sense. I had been making him lunch everyday. He had left every day in work clothes and wouldn't come home until his usual time. Where had he been going? What had he been doing? And with whom? I shook my head as the most-appalling thought came into my mind.

It was so appalling that I felt sick. My legs started to give way. Sam rushed to my side and wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me up. "Bella?" He asked, concerned.

"You don't-" I gasped. "You don't think he found someone else? Do you?"

Sam spun me around to face him. "Bella, you know that Edward only ever had eyes for you. He loves you. Whatever this is, we'll figure it out, together."

"Loves me?" I cried bitterly. "He has a funny way of showing his love."

"I know," Sam said, as he pulled me against his chest, hugging me tight. "I can't understand it. I can't help but think he's in trouble. I don't know why he wouldn't come to me for help."

The idea of Edward being in trouble brought on another dose of nausea. What kind of trouble would make you flee from your family?

"I have to sit down," I whimpered.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team for working on this and to Sherry for making it shine. X

We'll have around 15 chapters (I think) before we get to the new stuff. Hang tight.

Thanks for reading & reviewing x x

**Chapter 8**

Sam helped me over to the couch, slowly lowering me onto the seat. At the same time, Emily came back into the room. "What happened?" She asked, as she looked between the two of us and the broken glass on the floor.

"It was just a little accident," Sam said, shooting her a stern look.

She nodded and rushed off to the utility room to fetch the broom and dustpan. "Olivia has finally fallen asleep," she said as she started to clean up the mess.

"Thanks Em," I said, forcing a smile.

My mother had started to become overbearing more than an hour ago, so Emily had sent her home, telling her that she was stressing me out and I didn't need that right now. Emily had then taken charge of Olivia, who was going out of her way to act like a diva tonight and refusing to go to sleep. I think she thought if she acted up enough, then we would call Edward. If only she knew the truth.

I couldn't call him even if I wanted to.

"Do you mind if we head home?" She asked, as she put the last of the glass in the bin. "It's getting pretty late and we both have work tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize the time," I said, looking at the clock. It was after 11:30pm. I shouldn't have kept them here this late.

"There is nothing to apologize about, we both wanted to be here," Emily said, coming over and sitting next to me on the sofa. She pulled me into her arms and held me tight. "If you need us then all you have to do is call. I don't care what time of the night it is or if we're at work. If you need us, you call, and we'll be here. Okay?"

I nodded.

"I want you to know you're not alone in this Bella. We're right here with you," Emily said, as she pulled back and looked me over.

I nodded again as I wiped away a few tears. I had no idea what I would do if I didn't have Emily in my life. "I love you, Em."

"I love you too, Bells," She said, leaning in for another quick hug.

When she pulled away, she looked me over with concern. "You should go and get some sleep."

I could tell, by the way that she was looking at me that she didn't want to leave. We both knew what I was going to do the minute she went out the door.

"I will," I told her, forcing a small smile.

"Come on," Sam said, grabbing Emily's hand and pulling her to her feet. "Let's give her some space."

I also knew if Sam weren't here then she wouldn't be able to leave. Emily grabbed her bag, and I followed them through the house to the front door. "I just want to thank you guys again, for being there for me. I don't know what I would have done if I-"

Emily put her finger on my lips. "It goes without saying," she said, before pulling me in for one last hug. "Now go and get some rest." She hesitated at the door.

"I'll be fine," I assured her.

Sam wrapped his arm around her waist and guided her away from the door, but that didn't stop her from glancing back every few steps. I knew she would be up worrying about me most of the night.

I watched them get into the car and drive off before I locked the front door and proceeded to go around the house checking thatthe windows and patio doors were locked. I didn't like the idea of being alone in the house with the kids without someone here to protect us and keep us safe. Maybe I was being paranoid, but we'd never slept in the house without Edward before and I didn't want to start now. I wanted him here with me. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and tell me that this had all been a big mistake. That he was sorry, and this would never happen again. I knew I would take him back in that instant without a second thought. I loved him, and I missed him so much my heart felt as if it were bleeding for him.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team who worked on this and to Sherry for looking it over x

**Chapter 9**

When I had finished checking the locks, I turned around to face the open planned living room. My eyes roamed over the photo frames and ornaments on the fireplace, to the kid's toys piled by the side of the sofa. Everything looked the same, and yet felt so different. Felt so wrong.

I walked over to Edward's chair and ran my hand along the suede material. He would usually be sitting here watching the game with a bottle of beer in his hand, but instead the chair was now empty, longing for his presence just as much as I was. I sat down in the chair, curling myself into a ball. I wrapped my arms around my legs trying to stop myself from falling apart.

This wasn't how things were supposed to be. We were supposed to be together, forever. He was my husband. We had vowed, _for as long as we both shall live._ The last word stuck in my throat. What if, what if something had happened to him? I shuddered at the thought. How would I ever know? How would I ever find out?

I shook my head, telling myself that I couldn't think like that. I had to be strong, if not for me, then for the kids. Edward would never do something that would risk his life. He wouldn't do something stupid that would leave his kids without a father, permanently. At least that was what I had to tell myself if I had any hope of getting through this. I just hoped that he would call and let me know that he was okay. Even if he just called Sam. I didn't care, as long as I knew he was all right.

The not knowing was going to kill me.

I pulled the throw off the backrest of the chair and wrapped it around me, taking comfort in the soft threads of the fabric. I closed my eyes and took a deep inhale, hoping to find the lingering scent of his aftershave, but there was nothing there. He was just, gone.

I sat there for ages consumed by questions that I knew would never be answered. I only thought to move when my joints started to ache and stiffen. I found myself making my way through to our bedroom. It was the first time I had been in here since I had found the note. The room was exactly as I had left it this morning. I wasn't sure what I had been expecting to find. Perhaps clothes strewn across the floor and drawers left open as he had made a mad dash to collect his things before I returned home, but nothing was out of place.

It was almost as if he hadn't come in the room, but surely, if he had left then he had taken something with him? I made my way over to the wardrobe, hesitating at the doors. I knew if he had taken all his clothes that would mean that he never planned on coming home, but what if he had left some of them here? Did that mean he did plan to return? Or, was I just giving myself false hope? I slowly opened the doors. My breath hitched at what I saw. It looked as if all of his clothes were still here. He couldn't have taken anything other than the clothes upon his back or at the most one spare change, but that didn't make any sense. Where was he going that he didn't need any clothes? Was he really in trouble? Was he coming back?

My mind slipped back to the note. Two single words scribbled on a sheet of notepaper, _I'm sorry._ Was Emily right? Had I made an issue out of nothing? I shook my head as I thought back to his hostile nature and the way he had been pushing me out and keeping me at a distance. No, there was no way this could be anything else.

Edward had left me.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team and to Sherry xx

**Chapter 10**

I lifted his favorite Wolf Pack football shirtoff the rack. I took off my clothes and tossed them onto the floor before I pulled on his shirt. It drowned my small frame, but I didn't mind. I headed over to the dresser and sprayed the shirt with his favorite cologne. I took a second to close my eyes and enjoy the intense scents of amber and wood.

He had worn this cologne a lot over the years. It reminded me of so many happy days that we had spent together. Likeour wedding day. It had been the happiest day of my life, and if it had been the happiest, then this had to be the worst.

Dry agonizing sobs broke free from my chest as I stumbled over to the bed and crawled ontoEdward's side. I pulled his pillow beside me as I wrapped my arms around it and pretended it was him lying next to me; holding me and telling me that everything would be all right. I could still smell his lingering scent on the pillow, where he had slept just last night. It made me howl that much harder.

I missed him. I wanted him to come home. I didn't want him to leave me.

When the alarm went off, I was still awake. I hadn't been able to sleep at all last night. I headed into the bathroom and did my best to freshen myself up. I put cream around my eyes hoping it would help get rid of the puffiness so no one would know I had spent the entire night crying. I went through to the kitchen and got two bowls and two cups. I set the kid's cereal out and then poured them a glass of OJ before I went to wake them.

I went into Jackson's room first. He was lying star-fished on top of his covers, still asleep. I kneeled down and gently shook him. "Jackson honey, it's time to get up and have breakfast." He moaned and turned away from me. He was just like his father. He hated getting out of bed, too. I had to fight the lump in my throat that formed the moment my thoughts drifted to Edward. That was something I was going to have to work on. I couldn't breakdown every time I thought about him or every time his name was mentioned. "Jackson," I called quietly.

"What?" He snapped.

"It's time to get up and go get breakfast." I helped him sit up. He was struggling to keep his eyes open, the poor soul.

"Mom, are you okay?" He asked when his eyes landed on mine.

"I'm fine honey," I said, forcing a smile. "Go to the kitchen table and get your breakfast while I go and wake Olivia."

"You look as if you have been crying."

I leaned in and kissed his head. "I'm fine," I said before leaving the room.

I went into Olivia's room. She was still wrapped under the covers, probably in the same spot Emily had left her. She was like me; she didn't move much in her sleep **,** and it didn't take much to wake her up either. "Olivia," I whispered, as I gently stroked her hair. "It's time to wake up sweetheart."

Olivia opened her eyes and looked straight at me. "Is Daddy home yet?" She mumbled.

I shook my head. "Not yet honey." She sighed and folded her arms across her chest. "I know sweetie," I said, before leaning in to kiss her head. "He'll be home when he can." I could see the tears forming in her eyes, and I knew if she started to cry, then I would too. "Why don't you go and eat breakfast. It's almost time for school." She nodded. Olivia loved school. I helped her out the bed and watched her as she made her way through to the kitchen.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team and to Sherry xx

**Chapter 11**

While the kids ate breakfast, I jumped in the shower, afterwards I quickly dried my hair and applied enough makeup to cover-up the redness on my face. Once I was dressed for the day, I made my way to the kid's bedrooms to make their beds and lay their clothes out for the day.

I checked the time as I made my way to the kitchen. "It's time to hurry up and get dressed. We only have fifteen minutes left before we have to leave," I told them, ushering them to their rooms.

I turned the coffee machine on before I started making their packed lunches.

When I finished, I poured myself a coffee in a travel cup and went to check on their progress. Jackson was still in his pajamas, lying on his bed with his iPad in his hand. "Clothes on now, Mister; you know the rules. No games before school." He muttered something under his breath, but proceeded to get up to get dressed.

When I went into Olivia's room, she was just pulling on her shoes. "Good girl Olivia," I said, as I went over to her dresser and grabbed a hairbrush and some bands. I brushed her hair and then braided it, so it was neat and tidy for school.

I checked the clock on my way back out into the hall. "Time to go guys!" I shouted as I hurried into the kitchen and grabbed my coffee and their lunches. I grabbed my car keys as I headed towards the front door, checking to see that both of them were following me.

When I opened the door, two men with a tow truck were pulling my SUV onto the back of the flatbed. "Hey!" I shouted, demanding their attention. What the hell were they doing?

"Jackson, Olivia, you stay here," I warned, before I hurried over to the men.

"What's going on? What the hell are you doing with my car?"

"Look lady, it's being repossessed." The one with the beer belly told me. "It's what happens when you don't keep up with the payments."

"I, we… My husband takes care of the payments," I muttered, bewildered.

"Well, he hasn't been making them sweetheart," the younger, slimmer one said.

"Look," beer belly said, as he went into his pocket and pulled out the paper. "I have the order right here." He showed me the paper, detailing all of the missing payments.

"I…"

"I'm sorry, lady," he said, as he shoved the paper back into his pocket. He held his hand out towards me. I looked at him confused. "The key."

"Oh," I wiggled the key off my keyring and reluctantly handed it over to him.

I hurried back to the house and ushered the kids inside. I couldn't believe what was happening. I hoped that none of the neighbors had seen the tow truck, but I knew that was unlikely.

"What's going on, mom? What are those men doing with your car?" Jackson asked, following me around the house.

"Not now Jackson," I snapped and then immediately regretted. "Mom has to make a call. Just wait here."

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Emily's number. "Hey, everything okay?" Emily asked as soon as she answered the phone.

"No," I whimpered, "no, it's not."

"What's wrong? What happened?" Emily asked. I could hear the worry in her voice.

"They're taking my car," I mumbled.

"Who's taking your car?"

"It's been repossessed."

"Oh."

"Can you help me get the kids to school?" I asked, praying that she would be able to help me.

"Yeah, of course. I'll be right there."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team and Sherry.

Thanks you as well for all the reviews/follows/favs

**Chapter 12**

After Emily had picked the kids up for school, I decided it was time to look around the house for answers. My car had just been repossessed, and I had seen the missing payments for myself. As far as I was aware, we had never made a late payment in our lives. Yet Edward's boss had said that he was fired months ago. So how had we been surviving?

I knew I needed to find out exactly how bad things were, and how much money we had left. I started in the kitchen drawer where Edward usually kept the bills and other letters, but apart from junk mail, there was nothing else there. I searched the rest of the kitchen drawers, but I couldn't find any collection letters. It looked like he had done his best to hide them from me. I couldn't believe that he would keep something like this from me, and worse than that, I couldn't understand how he could leave us when things were this bad.

I tried our bedroom next. I looked through Edward's drawers and the boxes under his side of the bed, but I never found what I was hoping to find. I tried his closet. I checked the top shelf and then the shoe rack at the side, but I still couldn't find anything. I was about to give up when I noticed his gym bag lying in the corner on the floor. His gym stuff was about the only thing I refused to wash for him, so it would make the perfect place to hide something.

I opened his bag and tossed his gym clothes out of the way. I found a box stashed in the bottom of the bag. Inside the box, I found a pile of bills with red letter heading. Why had he kept this a secret from me?

There was the water bill and the electricity bill both of them were demanding payment and warning that they were due to be cut off soon. There was also a letter for the car payments, but I already knew about that one. Then there were our credit card statements, both were maxed out and overdue. The only thing that wasn't behind was the mortgage. I rummaged through the pile looking for our bank statement, anything to give me an indication of what we had left, but I couldn't find one.

I felt sick, as I looked down at all the past due notices. We were at least five thousand dollars in debt. I knew I had to find a job, and soon. I had no idea who was going to hire an inexperienced mother of two. However, I was soon going to find out.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team and to Sherry for making it sparkle. xx

**Chapter 13**

I had spent the past week searching for a job, but as it turns out no one wanted to hire a single mother of two with no previous work experience. I can't say that I blame them. I wasn't sure I would risk hiring me either.

My mom had always said that I should use my looks to my advantage. So that's what I did whenever I went on interviews, but it didn't seem to matter how much cleavage I showed or how short my skirt was. No one was hiring or at least they weren't hiring _me._

I was beginning to wonder if I would ever find a job. It seemed a bit like a lost cause, but I wasn't willing to give up just yet. I sat at the kitchen island looking over the local newspaper, marking any jobs I thought I would be good at when Rosalie came marching into the house. Her eyes quickly scanned around the open planned room until they landed on me. She had given me a half-hearted smile before she headed in my direction.

"I didn't know you were coming over," I said as she dumped her Louis Vuitton bag onto the counter.

She sighed, "I hadn't planned to, but I bumped into Emily."

"Oh."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She frowned.

"I was going to… Things have just been-"

She put her hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, I heard."

"Do you want me to make you a coffee?" I asked, getting up. I really didn't want to relive last week's events. I had only managed to stop myself from falling to pieces every time I thought of Edward.

"If you ask me he's a dumbass who clearly doesn't know a good thing when he sees it. I mean what man wouldn't kill to be married to you?"

I shook my head. "Rose, I, uh, really don't want to talk about it. Do you want that coffee?"

"No, no time for coffee. We have to go."

"Go?" I looked at her confused.

"Em said you need a job."

"I do." By the sound of things, Emily had been very informative.

"Well, go and get changed so we can leave," she said, ushering me with her hands.

"I can't-"

Rose frowned. "I'm sure Esme will pickup the kids." I sighed. I didn't like taking advantage of my mother when I hadn't arranged it with her in advance. There was no guarantee that her work would let her off early and I didn't want to put her in a position like that. "I got you an interview. Do you want a job or not?" Rose asked, annoyed.

"Of course I do. It's just… Fine, okay. I'll call her," I sighed as I grabbed my cell. I did need a job.

I dialed my mother's number. She answered after a few rings. I explained to her about the interview and she was thrilled for me, even though I didn't know where or what the job entailed. She asked her boss if she could get away early to collect the kids and her boss agreed. I turned to Rose as I hung up the phone. "Okay, I can go. So, where is this interview?"

"You'll see when we get there," she said with a smug look on her face. "Now hurry up and change."

I looked down at the black trousers and blouse I had on. I looked smart, well presented. Why did I need to change?

Rose sighed in exasperation and put her hands on my shoulders, shoving me towards my bedroom. "You should put on something sexier."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team for working on this and to Sherry x

**Chapter 14**

Rosalie didn't let go of me until we reached my bedroom. She went over to my wardrobe and started looking through the rack, pulling out dresses and studying them with a critical eye.

"Tell me again, where is this interview?" I asked, nervously.

"At my work."

"The massage parlor?"

"Mmhmm."

"So… Why do I need to look sexy for a massage parlor?"

"You _need_ to impress Laurent."

"You do realize I don't have a license, right?"

She shrugged. "Don't worry your pretty little head about that. It's just a minor detail."

"I bet the cops don't think it's so minor," I muttered, as I sat down on the bed. What was I getting myself into here? What did she mean it was a minor detail? _You need the money_ , I reminded myself. _Perhaps they'll let you work in another area until you have a license._

"I've found the right dress," Rose said, sounding pleased with herself.

I looked up to see the red dress I had worn last Christmas in her hands. It was one of those body-con type dresses that left little to the imagination. It had a low, plunging neckline and it barely covered my ass.

"Isn't that a little over the top for an interview?"

"Nonsense," she scowled. "It's perfect. Now go and put it on and then we will quickly do your hair and touch-up your face."

I grabbed the dress from her and did as I was told, though I couldn't ignore the alarm bells that were now ringing in my head.

About an hour later, we pulled up outside Rose's work, a place called The Rub. It was a relatively modern building in a quiet area of Reno. There wasn't anything else around for a few miles. It was the type of place you had to know existed, in order to find.

"It looks nice," I said, but I couldn't help wondering who would come for a massage all the way out here.

"Just wait till you see inside," Rose smiled.

"It's a little remote though, don't you think?"

"That's the way we like it," Rose said, as she got out the car.

I quickly clambered out and shut the door, hurrying to her side. My eyes scanned the parking lot as we made our way to the front door. Therewere about six or seven cars in the lot, all of them high-end cars, such as Lexus and Mercedes. It looked as though the parlor had some rich clientele. "What kind of massages do they do in here?" I whispered to Rose as we walked up the steps.

"The kind that makes money," she whispered back before she pulled the door open and ushered me inside.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Thanks to Sherry & my old team xx

**Chapter 15**

The reception room of the massage parlor reminded me of a hotel. It was decorated in luxurious hues of gold and cream. There were two sofas on either side of the front door, with coffee tables and all the fancy decor. It looked as though no expense had been spared.

On the other side of the room was a large desk, where some blonde was currently sitting, typing away at a computer. On either side of the desk were corridors that had several doors lining them, I presumed that they led to different massage rooms. "Hi." The girl behind the desk greeted us as we approached.

"Hey Jess," Rose said. "Is Laurent in his office?"

Jess glanced over to the door behind her left shoulder. "He is, but he has someone with him just now."

"Who?"

The girl eyed me as if she was trying to figure out if I could be trusted.

"She's okay," Rose assured her.

"It's Judge Denali."

A judge?

"Is there something wrong?" Rose asked, concerned.

Jess shook her head. "I don't think so."

I sat down on the sofa while we waited. Rose was busy chatting to Jess or should I say gossiping. My head was too busy spinning to focus on what they were saying. I was trying to figure what this place was about, but if I was really honest, I think I already knew. I just didn't want it to be true. I wanted a legitimate job, but really, I just need a job. Any job, as long as it paid well.

This week had been hard. It had been full of collections notices, the kids asking questions about Edward and the harsh reality that there were only a hundred dollars left in the bank. I was hardly sleeping at night wondering how I was going to get us out of this mess and trying to figure out how Edward could leave us when things were so bad, but then, maybe that is exactly why he left. He couldn't handle the pressure anymore. If only he had talked to me. If only he had let me help.

Sam was insistent that he thought that Paul and Edward had left together as they were both missing. Only Rachel never got a note. Then again, it wasn't unusual for Paul to disappear for a few days on one of his scams. I expected Paul would show up any day now, part of me hoped Edward would be with him.

Sam said Jacob was looking into both of their disappearances.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team and to Sherry xx

**Chapter 16**

A little while later, the office door opened and two men stepped out. Both of them were dressed in suits. One of them had dark skin and a head full of dreadlocks. The other had short black hair and striking blue eyes. The one with the dreadlocks smiled at me, causing the other man to look in my direction. "Who's this?" Blue eyes asked.

"This is Bella, my friend," Rose said, strutting to my side and pulling me to my feet. She wrapped her arm protectively around mine. I hoped that he wasn't Laurent because he clearly had no idea who I was or why I was here.

"Bella," Dreadlocks said, walking towards me and extending his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you." I took his hand, shakingit gently.

"A new start?" The other man asked, walking up behind him.

"A possible new start," Dreadlocks said, not taking his eyes from me. "She's here for an interview." Ah, so he _was_ Laurent.

The other man extended his hand. "I'm Eleazar. I hope you get the job," he said, giving me a wink. He must be the Judge… Denali was it?

"Thank you," I smiled.

"If she gets the job, let me know," he said, turning to Laurent. "I wouldn't mind being under her capable hands for a few hours." Laurent nodded. "I'll see you ladies later," he said, walking over to the door. "Oh, and Laurent remember what we talked about." With that, he turned and walked outside.

Laurent motioned to his office. "Shall we?" I nodded and took a deep breath as I made my way past him. _This was it._ My stomach was doing somersaults.

Laurent's office was every bit as luxurious as the reception room. It was decorated in the same colors, but the furniture had more of a masculine feel. I sat down on the cream chair in front of his desk, while he sat down on the other side. "So, Bella, how much has Rose told you about what we do here?" Laurent asked, leaning back in his chair and studying me.

I smiled, slightly embarrassed. Rose had told me nothing. "Very little," I replied.

He nodded. "Well, you seem like a smart lady, as you've probably gathered not everything here is above board. We, of course, do normal massages for appearances sake, but we also offer a unique set of services to certain clients."

"What kind of services?"

"That depends on the client, but usually blowjobs, handsjobs… Some clients are kinkier than others. Some like a little role-play, a little bit of dressing up or perhaps some food play." I nodded, unsure what to say. Why washe telling me all this? How did he know if I could be trusted or not? "Does that sound like something you would be interested in doing?"

"I…" I was utterly speechless.

How could I go about telling him that I had only ever had sex with one person, my husband. If I told him this information, he most likely wouldn't be interested in giving me a job. I wasn't sure if I could touch another man or if I even wanted this job. "It pays well," he said as if he could sense my doubt. I really wanted to ask how much. Would that be the persuading factor? "Your standard rate will be $20 an hour, but you can expect to receive tips ranging from $200 - $500 per client, sometimes more."

"How long does a session last?" I couldn't believe I was considering this.

"An hour."

 _Wow_ … With that kind of money, I could keep up with the bills and start to pay off the debts Edward had left me with. I could take care of the kids. I could manage on my own.

"What are you thinking?" Laurent asked, gazing at me intently.

"I think that's a lot of money," I blurted out.

He nodded his head in agreement. "It is, but there are also rules that must be followed."

"Rules?"

"No intercourse. No relationships with customers. No meeting clients outside of The Rub." It was all common sense really.

"I look after my girls." When he said that, he sounded like a pimp. _That's exactly what he is._ _And if he's a_ _pimp... What will that make me?_


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team and to Sherry xx

**Chapter 17**

"It makes it easier to look after you when you play by the rules." I nodded. He was talking as if I had already accepted the job. Did he know how desperate I was? "Come," he said, getting up. "Let me show you around one of the rooms."

I followed him down the corridor to the right, to the door at the end of the hall. The massage rooms were decorated to match the rest of the building. In the center of the room stood the massage table. At the side were some shelves, a sideboard and a sink. Laurent explained that is where they keep the oils and fresh towels. In the far corner, there was a privacy screen and a chair. This definitely wasn't the kind of a place where you would expect seedy things to happen. I imagined illegal massage parlors to be in rundown buildings or in rooms hidden in the back of a porn shop. Definitely not somewhere like this.

"This," Laurent said, pointing to a button by the door, "is a panic button. Press this and I'll be in here in two seconds flat. Someone gets too touchy or makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, all you have to do is press this button to end the session."

"How often do the girls need to press the button?" I asked, growing concerned.

"I've only had one girl press the button in the five years that I've owned The Rub. Our special clients have been vetted before they make it onto the approved list. As a new girl, you would only be seeing regulars anyway, so it's not something you would need to worry about. Rose sees all the new customers to begin with as an extra precaution, so by the time they make it to you they will know all the dos and don'ts."

I nodded. He made it all sound so easy.

"Really, there is nothing to worry about. You will be perfectly safe here as long as you follow the rules."

The rules would be easy for me to follow. I wasn't interested in having sex with another man or seeing any of them outside of work, never mind the thought of ever having a relationship with one of them. One broken marriage was enough to last me a lifetime.

"So, if I haven't scared you away yet, shall we take this interview to the next step?"

I gulped. The next step, what did that mean? Did I even want to know? I felt sick at the thought. My nails were digging into the palms of my hands. I wanted to say no and run as far away from this place as I could, but I knew I couldn't. Did he know that too? How much did he know about my situation? What had Rose told him?

 _The money_ , I reminded myself. You're doing this for the money, and for Jackson and Olivia. You have to stay here and do this for them. I forced myself to breathe and then I slowly nodded my head.

Laurent smiled. "Great. Well, if you'll just wait here, I'll back in a minute." I watched him disappear out of the room. Where the hell was he going? What the hell did he want me to do? What was this next step? I wasn't sure I could do this. I wasn't sure I was cut out for this. I wanted to go home and see my babies. _If you don't do this, you won't have a home for you or your babies,_ the voice inside my head tried to reason with me.

I sighed. I had to do this.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team and to Sherry.

A few more chapters to go and then we are onto the new stuff. (From chapter 21 onwards.)

Thanks to the Scribbler Alliance for the rec of the rub. I truly appreciate it.

Thanks for all the reivews/follows/favs.

**Chapter 18**

A few minutes later Laurent walked back into the room. "One of our regulars, Marcus, has just come in. I've offered him a free hour with you in exchange for his feedback on your performance. I hope that this is okay with you?" I nodded, even though it wasn't.

"I thought you would be more comfortable doing this with a stranger than doing it with me." He was right with his assumption. I don't think I could possibly do _that_ with him and then face him each day. It was going to be hard enough to get through this without having to do it to my boss.

 _Okay… It's time to put your big girl panties on,_ I said to myself.A few seconds later there was a knock at the door and in came Marcus. Laurent introduced us and then left.I was glad he didn't linger. It would only have made things more was the opposite of what I had been expecting. He was tall and slim built. He had the surfer look going on, with long, shoulder length hair, knee length shorts and a baggy t-shirt.

"You look nervous," Marcus said, smiling down at me.

I offered him a small smile. Was I that obvious?

"You're not a cop are you? You're not going to arrest me as soon as we get down to the deed?"

I laughed, the tension in the air eased a little. "No, I'm not a cop."

"Good. I don't want to have to explain this to the Mrs."

"It can be our little secret," I assured him.

"I'd like that."

The conversation stilled after that and the silence began to grow awkward again. I looked around the room wondering what the best way to get things going was. How did the other girls do this? Laurent had failed to go over that part or perhaps he had done that on purpose to see how I would cope. "The other girls typically go behind the screen and get changed while I get comfortable on the bed," Marcus offered.

"Get changed?" I asked, confused.

"Into lingerie."

"Oh…"

"I mean, it's okay. I'm not saying you have to-" he stuttered, as his face burned red.

I let out a nervous chuckle and put my hand up to stop him. "Why don't you get comfy and I'll go change." I walked behind the screen, glad that I had worn a matching bra and panties today. I had always made an effort to buy pretty underwear to please Edward. Shit! I couldn't think of him right now. Thinking of your husband while you're about to jack off another guy just wasn't a good idea.

I shook my head as I started to take off my dress. _Pull it together Bella._ _You have to do this._


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team and to Sherry x

**Chapter 19**

"Ready?" I called out a few minutes later when I no longer heard movement in the room.

"Yeah," Marcus answered.

I took a deep breath and stepped out from behind the screen. He was lying on his back on the massage table with a towel covering his torso. I couldn't remember if the towel had been sitting out already. I hoped he didn't need to get it himself, that wouldn't look good for me. I had to make more of an effort. I _had_ to impress him if I wanted this job.

I walked over to the sideboard with fake confidence and grabbed a bottle of oil. _Sensual Massage Oil._ I guess this was the right one. After all, we were going to get sensual. I squirted a reasonable amount into my hands and rubbed them together before walking over to Marcus to begin working on his shoulders. His shoulders felt tight as if he was someone who was under a lot of stress.

Should I talk to him while I do this? Do guys want to talk or just concentrate on getting off? I had no idea. There was so much Laurent should have told me. I figured I should at least try to strike up a conversation, and if he didn't seem talkative, I would know to keep quiet.

"So… Marcus, what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a lawyer."

"A lawyer," I said, as my hands moved over to his chest. The way I was stretching over him made my breasts bob directly in front of his face, but he seemed to like that. I could tell by his growing erection or maybe it was the feel of my hands. "What kind of law do you specialize in, if I may ask?"

"Environmental Law."

I moved over to his right side and started working his arm, wanting to get my boobs away from his face. It just didn't feel right. "That's unusual," I said, trying to continue the conversation.

He smiled at me. "Yeah, I feel really passionate about the environment. Both my parents are Greenpeace activists. I didn't have the most conventional of upbringings." I thought he looked like the outdoorsy type.

I lifted the towel off his right leg and began to work it with my hands. His erection was now bulging. Had this been a normal massage parlor I'm sure he would have been kicked out the building by now for that kind of behavior. _Why couldn't I work in a normal massage parlor?_

"What about you?" He asked. "I, uh, mean… What did you do before this?"

I cringed. I couldn't exactly tell him I was a mother of two and this was my first job. I was more than sure that would be a turn-off for him. "Nothing special, I use to work in retail," I said, hoping he wouldn't ask anymore.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** Thanks to my old team and to Sherry.

This is it, this is the point we got to last time. New material up next x

**Chapter 20**

I went back to focusing on his leg, staring at his towel-covered cock. I wondered what I should do when it came time to touch _it_. Should I grab it and just go for it or was I supposed to ask him what he wanted? Maybe he wanted a blowjob. I cringed at the idea of another man's dick in my mouth. I could just… almost, maybe, handle the thought of one in my hand. That wasn't as repulsive as having one in my mouth. Did I really need to give blowjobs? Couldn't I get away with just doing handjobs instead?

Hmm, that was something that I was going to have to talk Laurent about when I was finished here. Surely, I was permitted to have my own limits?

I looked at Marcus wondering what to do. He had his eyes closed and seemed to be enjoying the feel of my hands. Maybe he would be turned on if I just took the lead and did my own thing. Maybe he didn't even want a blowjob. I stifled a laugh… Yeah, right.

I moved around to his left side, lifted the towel off of his leg, and began to massage that area. I told myself I was ensuring I had worked and relaxed every part of him, but I knew I was just wasting time, putting off the inevitable.

His dick was pulsing under the towel, calling out for my attention. I was going to have to touch is sooner rather than later. Maybe I should pretend he's Edward. Maybe that would make this easier. _No! Just touch the man's dick and put all thought of your husband out your head!_ I internally roared at myself. Pretending that some stranger's cock actually belongs to the husband that left you is all sorts of fucked up. I was right, that was fucked up to image.

Okay, it was time to do this. I was going to do this. I lifted the towel a little before I changed my mind and reached underneath, grabbing hold of his dick. Marcus hissed with delight. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad if I didn't actually have to look. I held it firmly in my hand as I began to stroke it up and down, my thumb teasing the head. The head was already dripping with pre-cum. I hoped that meant he wouldn't last long.

I worked him for what seemed like hours, not wanting to go too fast and hard as I didn't want him to think I was trying to get him to come as soon as possible, which, of course was exactly what I wanted, but I just couldn't let him think that. I had to make the customer happy, right? I had to make him feel wanted. Make him believe that I actually wanted this… Somehow.

Maybe I should work on that one.

Eventually, he started to twitch and then he grunted as a warm liquid spilled all over my hand.

It was over. Thank Christ it was over.

I wiped and cleaned the both of us with a towel before I went over to the sink and started washing my hands. I could hear Marcus fumbling with his clothes behind me. I took my time at the sink trying to avoid filling the awkward silence with small talk because I had no idea what to say to him. He was a stranger that I had just been intimate with and that was all kinds of fucked up. I wasn't a one-night-stand kind of woman.

"You did well for your first time," Marcus said, breaking the silence. "I have nothing but good things to report back to Laurent."

I turned around and smiled at him. "Thank you." That was a relief to hear, but I wasn't sure I deserved it at all.

"I'll hopefully see you again." He did look hopeful. Maybe he liked me and that was why he was overly generous.

"Yeah," I replied, unsure what else to say.

He smiled and then turned to the door. When he was almost out, I noticed a white envelope sitting on the table. "You dropped this," I called out to him, picking it up.

"That's for you. It's your tip."

"Oh. Thank you," I replied, shocked. I hadn't expected him to tip me. I thought this session was supposed to be free. "Thank you very much."

"No worries. I'll see you soon, Bella."

When he was gone, I looked inside the envelope. He had left me a $500 tip for less than an hour's work. That was fucking crazy. I could now buy groceries and get Jackson the new pair of trainers he needed.

This job could be the answer to all my problems.

I quickly dressed and waited in the room. Laurent walked in about five minutes later, with a big grin on his face. He looked pleased, and that was a good sign. "You did well Bella. Marcus was impressed. He spoke very highly of you."

"Does that mean I've got the job?"

He nodded. "I think you will fit in nicely here."

"Oh, thank you. Thank you so much!" I said, grabbing him out of excitement and pulling him into a hug. "You won't regret this, I promise."

"See to it that I don't."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** Sherry rocks x

**Chapter 21**

"You could have warned me," I hissed at Rosalie, on the way to her car. I couldn't believe that she would allow me to me be blindsided like that. Sure, all the clues had been there. I guess I just didn't want to see them.

"Would you have come with me if I had?" she asked, unaffected by my sour mood.

I paused for a moment, thinking it over, before I answered honestly, "No, I don't think I would have."

"Which was exactly why I never told you," Rosalie stated. "Look, Bella," she said, turning to face me. "I know you. We have been friends for years. I knew there was no way in hell, that if I spelled it out for you that you would have gotten in the car, let alone went to the interview. I knew you needed the money, for you and the kids. So, I avoided telling you. You can hate me all you want, but you need this job. You are in a shitty situation that you need to get out of fast and this was the easiest way I saw for you to do that. Who knows how long Edward will be gone, or if he will even come back. You need to start thinking of you and the kids, putting yourself first. Okay, so it may not be the most glamorous job in the world, but it pays extremely fucking well, and no one is holding you to a contract. You can get out of this as soon as you want. Earn enough to get you where you need to be and then leave. You can look for something else. How long you do this is entirely up to you."

"Laurent would let me do that?" I asked, surprised. Surely, he would want something in return.

"Yes, of course he would. The last thing he wants is any trouble and it's not like he's not getting a cut of the action. He's paid very well, for what he does."

"How well?" I asked, curious.

"Look Bella, the less you know the better, especially if this is only something temporary for you. Go in there and earn your money and then you can leave, go on to bigger, greater things. No one has the right to judge you for doing what you need to do for you and your kids. Edward got you into this situation and sadly, it's up to you to get yourself out of it."

I nodded, knowing she was right. "Thank you," I said, grateful that she had come to me with this opportunity. I couldn't stand the thought of the kids suffering any more than they already were; if we were to continue down the path we were on, then they could lose a lot of their things. At least this way I could save face. I wouldn't need to borrow money from Emily or my mom that I may never be able to pay back.

 


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:** Thanks to Sherry for working her magic on this.

Summer has landed in Scotland. I am making full use of it. I hope things are nice wherever you are xx

**Chapter 22**

When I got home the kids were playing outside and my mom and Sam were sitting in at the dining table. I could tell straightaway from the expression on their faces that something was wrong. "How did the interview go?" my mom asked, trying her best to be cheerful.

"It went well," I said, dumping my purse on the kitchen counter, bracing myself for whatever it was that Sam was about to tell me. I took a deep breath and turned to face them. Thankfully, he didn't bother bullshitting me and came straight out with it.

"Jacob called in a few favors. Both Edward and Paul crossed the border to Mexico a week ago, but neither of them has been seen since."

"Mexico," I muttered. "What the hell is he doing in Mexico?"

Sam shook his head. "I have no idea, but if Paul is with him, it can't be good." I had to agree with him there. No good could ever come out of Paul's involvement.

"What about Rachael? Has she heard from Paul?"

Sam shook his head. "He told her he was going out of town for a few days to take care of some business and that he would be back at the end of the week. She started to worry about him when he never showed back up or got in contact. She said he normally calls if he is going to be late."

I shook my head, clenching my fist. What the hell had Edward been thinking, and just what exactly had he got himself into? I would never understand why he hadn't come to me before things had gotten so far out of control. Men, and their stupid fucking pride. "Has she contacted the authorities?" I asked, wondering if I should.

"No," Sam said, shaking his head. "You know as well as I do that she can't do that. There is no saying what Paul has gotten himself into and alerting the police wouldn't do either of them any favors. Jacob is looking into it, let's just wait and see what he finds first before we make any rash decisions."

"Jacob better be careful," my mom stated, "he could lose his job over this."

I nodded. We all knew just how much Jacob loved his job. The last thing I wanted him to do was put his job on the line. "Just tell him if it gets too much, to back off. I don't want him to get into any trouble over this. Tell him I appreciate him helping, but not to put his own head at risk."

Sam nodded. "I'll tell him. He's being careful. He just wants to help you, the same as we all do."

I walked over to Sam and kissed his cheek. "Thank you. I honestly don't know what I would do without y'all." I walked over to my mom and pulled her into an embrace, wondering if she would ever forgive me. If she would ever understand about the path my life was about to take.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 23**

Balancing family life and work wasn't easy, but I was starting to make headway on the bills which was making things a little easier. My first priority had been to get my car back by catching up on the payments. Then, both Olivia and Jackson needed new shoes. I was by no means living the life of luxury, but the walls at least no longer felt like they were closing in. I could breathe again.

My new job had brought a chorus of questions from my mom, of course, but I think I had managed to answer most of them reasonably well, which had caused her back off, for the moment at least. My main problem now was managing my cash flow. Laurent paid in cash. My tips came in cash. I had no money coming in or out my bank account, but yet I was somehow paying my bills. I needed to find a solution to it before I drew any unnecessary attention.

"Isn't it about time that you take that thing off?" I looked up to see my mother staring at me. I had been daydreaming, staring off into space as I played with the ring on my finger.

"Take what off?" I asked confused, not following her line of thought.

"Your wedding ring," she said, pointing at my hand.

I wearily glanced down at my hand. I hadn't even thought about taking it off. Sure, I removed it when I was working, but I had always put it back on without a second thought.

"It's been over a month Bella. He's not coming back," she said, patting my arm.

"You don't know that," I snapped defensively, but in truth, I knew she was probably right.

"You haven't heard from him in all that time. He hasn't even called the kids. He's gone."

"I don't need reminding of that," I scowled. God! Did she have no filter whatsoever? I stormed past her and marched out of the kitchen and into Emily's backyard where everyone was gathered. It was Sam's birthday today and like we did every year, everyone got together to help him celebrate.

Normally, I loved days like this. It was a chance to see people I usually didn't get to see, but I didn't love it this year. It only served to remind of everything I had lost. I couldn't wait to go home. I couldn't stand the way everyone was looking at me. Even those I cared about. Their eyes were full of pity. There goes Bella, poor Bella, whose husband left her. I was so sick and tired it. I didn't want anyone's pity. I didn't want anything, but my life back. My husband back.

"You look like you need a drink." I turned around to see Rosalie standing there with an apologetic smile on her face. She handed me a bottle of beer.

"Thanks," I sighed.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Just my mother being over opinionated again." Rose arched her eyebrow at me. "She thinks I should take my ring off."

"She's right, you should."

I glared at her. "I don't care if she's right or not. It's my decision. If I want to wear the bloody thing, then I will."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Want to wear it?"

I shrugged, glancing down at my hand. "I don't know. I guess I hadn't thought much about taking it off. I guess I'm not ready to face the idea that he's really not coming back. I'm not even sure if I want him to."


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N:** Sherry rocks xx

**Chapter 24**

"I heard you're working at The Rub?" Talking about my current employment with a police officer was not on my list of things to do today, but somehow Jacob had managed to corner me at Sam's party and was asking about it nonetheless. Part of me wondered if he knew what went on there and that was why he was asking. That thought scared the hell out of me. Of course, I worried about getting caught all the time. I didn't want anyone to know what I did to put food on the table. Of course, I was ashamed, but there were worse things I could have been doing than give out hand jobs to provide for my children.

"Yeah, I, uh, it was the first job I could find. Finding employment when you have never worked isn't easy." Jacob nodded, but never said a word. His response made me nervous. "So, um, I wanted to thank you in person, for all the work you've done, trying to find Edward. I appreciate it, I do."

"Do you have any idea why he would be in Mexico?"

I shook my head. "None at all." Though I was starting to suspect he had been trying to get money for us, or at least that's what I liked to think. It was easier to bear than the thought that he had actually abandoned us.

"If we find any other leads I will let you know, but at the moment the trail has run cold. There is no sign of Edward or Paul."

"I'd appreciate that." My cell rang; I pulled it out my pocket, glancing at the screen, unknown number. That was strange. "I, uh, have to take this," I said, pointing at my phone. I was more than happy to use it as an excuse to get away from Jacob. I moved far enough that he wouldn't hear me before I answered. I was worried that it was Laurent. "Hello?" Silence. I was greeted with nothing but an eerily silence. "Hello?" I tried again, but still nothing, no response from whoever was on the other end. I was just about to hang up myself when the line went dead.

"Everything okay?" Emily asked, coming to my side.

"Yeah, it must have been a wrong number," I mumbled, yet something told me it wasn't. Wishful thinking? I shrugged it off and pushed my cell back into my pocket. "It's late. I'm tired. I think I am going to round up the kids and head home."

Emily leaned in and hugged me, placing a kiss on my cheek. "Okay, thanks for coming. I'll call you in the morning."

Truth was, I wasn't tired. I just couldn't wait to get out of there. I said my goodbyes to the birthday boy and grabbed the kids. I couldn't help but notice that Jacob was staring at me on the way out. I didn't know if I was being paranoid or wary, but something told me that I needed to be extra careful around him. He had the power to throw me in jail because what I was doing was illegal.

 


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 25**

"My new client seems to have his eye on you," Rosalie said between bites of her sandwich. We were currently sitting in the breakroom at The Rub, eating our lunch. "I was wondering if you maybe know him?"

I glanced up at her, worried that I did in fact did know him. I didn't want what I did here to get back to my mother, or Emily and Sam. "What's his name?"

"Emmett Cullen," Rosalie said, eyeing me.

"Cullen," I said, running the name over in my mind, trying to make a connection, but there was no connection to be made. "I don't know anyone by that name. Are you sure that is his real name?"

Rosalie shrugged. "That was the name he gave me. I don't exactly interrogate my clients."

"What does he look like?"

"Dark brown hair and brown eyes. Maybe about 6'2" and very muscular. He always wears a suit."

It didn't sound like anyone I knew. "What does he say about me?"

Rosalie shrugged. "When he first saw you standing in the corridor, he asked your name, now he asks how you are doing and things, but don't get any ideas. He is my client. He's a good tipper and I'm not prepared to let you have him. Plus, I kind of like him."

"Don't you find it a little strange that he asks about me?" I asked Rosalie. I certainly did. I got an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. "Are you sure he's not a cop? What did he say he does?"

"He didn't," Rosalie said, calmly popping a chip in her mouth, "and there is no way he is a cop. I can smell a cop a mile away and he ain't the type. Though I won't deny he has a certain edge to him. He definitely isn't someone I would want to get on the wrong side of, but I do imagine he would have a devilish streak between the sheets. I'm thinking of sleeping with him."

I gasped at her. "You can't," I said in a hushed whispered so that the rest of the staff in the room didn't hear us. "Laurent clearly stated that we weren't to sleep with the clients."

Rosalie grinned. "Rules are made to be broken, plus do you honestly think this is the first client I've slept with? If a hot client wants to pay me to sleep with him, there is no way I am saying no to that shit."

"Laurent will be pissed if he finds out."

"He's not going to find out. I'm careful. Can you honestly tell me that none of your clients have positioned you?"

"Just because they've asked, doesn't mean I would agree."

Rosalie shrugged. "There will come a time and place when you will need extra money and you'll agree to it."

I shook my head, telling her she was wrong, at least I hoped she was wrong.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry x x

**Chapter 26**

"There he is," Rosalie whispered as we both looked down the corridor. "This is the second time he has come here this week, normally he only comes once a week."

I had no idea who this guy was. As far as I recalled, I had never seen him before in my life. So I had no idea why he would be asking about me. In fact, I found the entire thing strange and unnerving. I decided to grab the bull by the horns and before Rosalie could stop me, I marched down the corridor to the reception desk where Emmett Cullen was currently standing. He looked up and smiled at me. I returned the smile, leaning against the counter and staring at him. "Do I know you?" I asked, playing dumb.

Emmett shook his head. "I don't believe so."

"That's strange. My friend said you had been asking about me and I thought if you were asking about me then I must know you." I was a little more curt than I should have been, considering I was in my place of work and he was a client, and there was other clients around.

Emmett smiled at me. "When I first saw you, you looked so sad and lost. I was concerned for you. A woman as pretty as you should never be sad, she should only smile. You look so much prettier when you smile."

I wasn't sure if his words were supposed to seduce me or win me over, but they didn't. I wasn't buying into his explanation. I wasn't on the kool-aid, there was something about him. Something strange, but I believe Rosalie was right. He wasn't a cop. He seemed too dangerous, too lethal to be one. I would, however, be keeping an eye on him all the while keeping my distance.

"Is everything okay here?" Laurent asked as he walked up to us both. He warily eyed me. I prayed he hadn't heard the way I had just spoken to Emmett or I could end up losing my job.

"Yes, everything is great," Emmett said, giving Laurent a smile. "Bella was just keeping me company until Rosalie was ready. Ah, here she is now," he said, extending his hand to Rosalie, inviting her to join us.

"Ready?" Rosalie asked, as she walked up to us. A wicked smile spreading across her face as she placed a hand on his chest.

"Always," Emmett said as he put his hand on the small of her back and motioned for her to lead them to her room.

"What was all that about?" Laurent snapped the second they were out of earshot.

"As Emmett said I was just keeping him company. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a client coming in." I hurried to my room, before Laurent could ask me anymore questions. I was thankful that Emmett had covered for me, but why had he? What did he care if I got into trouble or lost my job?


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry x

**Chapter 27**

I was struggling to hold it together. I had Jacob and Laurent breathing down my neck, with the added pressure of this mysterious Emmett, who seemed to have an interest in my well-being, or did he? The kids were asking for their father more and more, and my mother was pressuring me to leave Edward in the past, where he apparently belonged.

The only relief I now had was that the past due notices had more or less stopped. I had gotten caught-up on most payments and I could breathe a little easier. I had started looking for another job, but I wasn't sure how I could ever consider leaving this kind of money behind and only earn a fourth of what I was getting now. Sure, that had been the original plan, but if I stuck this work out I could put some money away. Plan for the kid's future, college funds, holidays and rainy days. Surely, it would have been better to have something to fall back on.

I was grateful that Rosalie had helped me launder the money. She knew a guy, who knew a guy, or something like that. Anyway, for a small percentage, he would take my dirty money and make it clean. Meaning everything looked legit should the IRS start asking questions. At least that's what I was told. I hoped that was the case.

"You look like you could use a night out," Emily said, staring at me from across the dining table.

I looked up at her and shook my head. "I'm just tired."

"C'mon," Emily pouted, "you deserve a break. If you're not working, you are busy with the kids. When do you ever get some time to yourself? C'mon, you could use a break. I'll get Sam to stay with the kids, we can call Rosalie and make a night of it."

"I dunno." Part of me was worried, what would I do if I met one of my clients when I was out. Did I pretend that I didn't know them? What if they approached me? What if they said something? I'd hadn't been in that position yet, basically because I rarely went anywhere other than work and school with the kids. The last thing I wanted was Emily or my mom finding out about what I do. It was something I constantly worried about. It was part of the reason I knew that I should look for a different job, but the money was just too good.

Emily pouted. She looked so pathetic; I couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, we'll go out, but only for a few drinks."


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry x

**Chapter 28**

One drink led to two drinks, and two led to three, and then four. I stopped counting after that, probably because I was feeling pretty buzzed. Emily was right. I had needed a girl's night out. I had needed to let loose. Everything was going so well, we were having so much fun, until… one of my clients approached me.

My fuzzy brain barely had time to register what happened next. One second the client was grabbing onto my arm, leaning over me and the next thing, his ass was laying flat out on the floor. I looked up shocked to see a pair of familiar blue eyes staring at me. "Edward," I gasped, stumbling backward. No, now I knew I had to be drunk. It couldn't possibly be him. He couldn't possibly be here.

Emily quickly moved to my side, placing her hand on my arm in a protective move, but remained silent. Rosalie moved to my other side, doing more or less the same. My girls got my back. "It's good to see you," Edward said, softly. So softly I could barely hear him above the music in the bar.

I saw someone pull my client off the floor and push him away from us into the forming crowd. That was when I realized that someone was Emmett. Apparently Edward was here with him.

"Come with me," Edward said, extending his hand towards me, his eyes pleading with me to agree.

"No way," Rosalie said, protectively stepping in front of me. "You can't just show up here and ask her to go with you. Not after the way you left her," she hissed, poking a manicured nail in his chest.

"She's my wife," Edward stated.

Rosalie shook her head. "You gave up your rights to call her that the second you left her and the kids."

"It was complicated," Edward said to her, before turning his attention to me. "Please, Bella, come with me. I promise I'll explain everything if you come with me. Let's go someplace private where we can talk."

"I'm not letting her go anywhere with you. She's too drunk to make that kind of a decision," Rosalie snapped and Emily nodded her head in agreeance.

"Rosalie you need to let them talk," Emmett said, moving to stand with Edward. "They need to sort this out between themselves."

"You stay out of this," Rosalie said, pointing her finger at him. "I don't know what your game is mister, but this here is none of your business."

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him," Edward said, glancing at Emmett. "I owe him my life and so much more."

"Please Bella," he said, turning his attention back to me. "I can see you are still wearing your wedding ring. That means that I must still mean something to you. Just give me the chance to explain. If you don't like what I have to say, I promise I'll walk away."

I glanced down at my ring and then at both my friends. It was all too much to take in, but part of me wanted, no needed to know what he had to say. "Okay, you have five minutes."


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N:** Sherry rocks xx

**Chapter 29**

Edward put his hand on the small of my back and led me out of the bar. At first, I presumed that he just wanted to talk outside, but I soon realized that he was leading me towards a black SUV sitting by the side of the road. I jerked back and glared at him. "What are you doing?"

"Get in the car, Bella." His tone was no longer soft, his eyes no longer pleading. He was giving me an order and he expected me to follow it.

"No," I snapped at him. "I'm not going anywhere with you. I said you had five minutes and by my estimations you now have two. You better start talking before I turn and walk away."

Edward sighed and then ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, but I don't have time for this." He picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder, continuing to walk to the SUV.

I started screaming and slapping his back, that is when I realized he had a gun tucked into the back of his trousers. Something else struck me then. He was dressed in a suit. Edward never wore suits, he was always dressed casually. "Why the hell do you have a gun?" I hissed as he opened the door and placed me in the back of the SUV. "What do you need a gun for?"

For the first time in my life I looked at my husband and I was scared. I didn't know who he was anymore. I could see now I wasn't the only one who had changed, he had too. His face had hardened, aged even. His eyes no longer held the sparkle that once drew me to them. Everything about him was different. "I'll explain everything in due time, just please, don't fight me on this. I need you to come with me." He got in the SUV after me and closed the door behind him.

That was when I realized there was another man in the driver seat, a stranger. He started the car and Emmett jumped in the passenger seat before we began to drive off. I looked back towards the bar as we sped away, Rosalie and Emily standing by the door watching me. I felt tears begin to sting my eyes; something told me that I didn't know when I would ever see them again.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 30**

We traveled to our house in complete silence, when we got there all I wanted to do was slam the door in Edward's face, but I wasn't presented the chance. The three men got out the car and I was left with no other option than to follow. I didn't feel comfortable having two strange men in the house where my kids were more than likely sleeping so I rushed in front of them and stood in their path, blocking the door. "What are you doing?" I asked, glaring at Edward.

"We're here to get the kids and pack your things," Edward said in a flat tone.

"What!?" I asked him confused. "Get the kids? Pack? We're not going anywhere," I said, crossing my arms and refusing to budge.

Edward sighed, frustrated. "Please, Bella, let's just have this conversation inside."

"No. I don't want them in my house," I said, looking at Emmett and the other guy, if that was even his real name.

Sam must have heard me shouting because he came to the front door and opened it or perhaps Emily had called him in hysterics. I don't know. "Bella, are you okay?" he asked, concerned. His eyes went from me to the other men, and then Edward, whom he looked at in total disgust.

"She's fine," Edward said, before I could even answer. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side, barging his way into the house. Emmett and the other man followed him. "We appreciate you watching the kids, but we have it from here. Your services are no longer required."

"I'm not leaving until I know that Bella is okay," Sam protested.

Emmett took a step towards Sam, standing in his personal space and doing his best to intimidate him. Sam was a pretty big guy, but Emmett was even bigger. The last thing I wanted was Sam getting hurt, so I stepped in between him and Emmett, putting my hand on his chest. "Really Sam, I'm okay. Go home to Emily and I'll give you a call in the morning." I know it was unlikely that I would, perhaps he did too and that's why he hesitated.

"Remember, I'm only a phone call away if you need me," Sam said, looking at me with worried eyes.

I nodded and watched him leave before I turned to Edward. "The kids and I aren't going with you. Look, I have no idea where you have been for these past five months or what you have gotten yourself into, but I won't put my children in danger. I want you to turn around and leave. I don't want you to ever to come back."

"I think you and I have both put them in our own fair share of danger, don't you? But you are mistaken if you think I am going to turn away and leave you all again. Now go and pack your things. I was telling you, not asking."


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N:** Third time is the charm.

Sherry rocks x

**Chapter 31**

I wanted to scream and shout at him, ask him who the hell he thought he was talking to, but I got the feeling that screaming at him wouldn't get me anywhere. No, I had to be more tactful than that. He was delusional if he thought I was gonna pack up the kids and go with him. I had no idea what he had gotten himself into or who these men were. He may have his own view about what I've done to survive, but I've never once put my children in danger. I only did the things that I did to save them from the mess that _he_ had put us in.

I glared at him and then marched out of the room. I hurried to our bedroom where I closed the door and then headed over to the house phone on the bedside table. I never thought I would have to call the cops on my own husband, but it looked like I had no other choice. I would do whatever it took to protect my children. I didn't even get to dial the last digit of the emergency phone number before the phone was ripped out of my hand and tossed across the room. I turned around to see a very angry Edward glaring at me. "What the hell do you think you are doing!?" he shouted.

I took a step back, frightened of what he would do. He must have seen the fear in my eyes because he sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to scare you, you know I would never hurt you, right?" I didn't answer. "I'm just stressed. We don't have a lot of time. I was only granted leave for one day to come and get you. I was lucky to get that, and Carlisle isn't someone you want to mess with."

"Who is Carlisle and why did you need him to grant you leave? Edward, what the hell is going on and why did you leave us? Where have you been?" I asked, on the verge of tears.

He closed the distance between us and cupped my face in his hands. "I promise I'll explain everything on the road, just please, pack your things. Pack the kid's things. We have to get going and I don't trust Sam to have called the cops or at the very least Jacob. Trust me, the last thing you want is Jacob sniffing around these guys."

I stared up at my husband, searching his eyes, looking for answers. I had no idea where he planned to take us or why he'd shown up now, but I could tell by the sheer look of determination that there was no way he was leaving without us.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N:** Thanks to Sherry for all her hard work.

It feels good to have the writing bug again. Thank you for all your reviews/follows/favs. Very much appreciated. xx

**Chapter 32**

I sat in the back of the SUV with tears quietly streaming down my cheeks. We have been traveling for hours, to god knows where. I hadn't asked Edward any questions because the kids had woken when we lifted them from their beds. They were initially excited to see their father, asking him lots of questions to where he had been. It hadn't gone unnoticed by me that Edward had given them nothing but vague answers. I honestly didn't think he knew what to tell them. It obviously couldn't be the truth, because the truth was clearly something dark and dangerous.

Jackson was now asleep with his head on my lap and Olivia was curled into her father, her head resting on his shoulder. Edward had given me half an hour to pack, half an hour to pick up my life and take it with me. He said he would come back for the rest when he could, but he never gave any assurances to when that would be.

I cried for my mother, for my friends. I feared what they would think when they turned up tomorrow to find me gone, but most of all, I feared for my children and what the future now held for all of us.

Edward reached over and took my hand, trying to squeeze it reassuringly, but I snatched it away. The last thing I wanted was to be comforted by the man who had caused all my problems. "Don't," I angrily whispered.

"Please, Bella, don't push me away, don't shut me out. I did what I needed to do. I took the only option available to me, like you took the only option available to you. Things were never supposed to turn out this way."

"And what option was that exactly?"

Edward glanced down at the kids ensuring that they were indeed sleeping. "Paul told me about this way that I could make quick cash. It all sounded too good to be true, but I was desperate. I had been too embarrassed and ashamed to tell you that I had lost my job. I had been trying to hold it together and cover everything up in the hopes that I found a new job and you would be none the wiser, but before I knew it months had passed and things were only getting worse. I'm sorry that I let you down, Bella. I should have come to you at the beginning, I know that now, but I didn't. My pride got in the way and that is how we ended up where we are."

"How were you supposed to make some fast money?"I asked, not daring to look at him. I continued to run my hand through Jackson's hair, trying to keep myself calm.

"Paul told me about these diamonds. He had heard about where they were being stored. He made it sound so easy, like stealing candy from a baby. I just knew if we got a hold of those diamonds, then all our problems would be solved. We would never want for everything again, but it wasn't a simple job and he forgot to mention the fact that the diamonds belonged to the Cartel."

I gasped, looking at the two men in the front of the SUV. Were they Cartel? "Where is Paul now?" I dared to ask.

"He's dead," Edward sighed. "Someone had to pay the price. Like I said, I owe my life to Emmett, without him I wouldn't be here today. Carlisle wanted to kill me too, but Emmett saw something in me and asked his father to spare my life. I've been working for the Cartel ever since, trying to pay off my debt. There is something you should know… I may never pay off that debt. I know I should let you and the kids go, but I am too selfish for that. After I heard what you had to do to survive I begged Carlisle to let me come and collect you and bring you back."


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N:** Thank you to Sherry for all her hard work and her evil mind helped shape this chapter xx

**Chapter 33**

At some point during the night we got on a private jet, presumably headed for Mexico. The kids didn't seem to care where we were going. I think they were just happy to have their dad back and were looking at it as an adventure. They probably thought we were going on a family vacation and would return home at some point. How did I tell them that wasn't the case? Would we ever see my mother again? Or my friends? I had no idea.

Edward and I had barely spoken after his confession. It had been a lot to digest. In fact, I was still trying to swallow it. I suppose I couldn't blame him for trying to provide for his family. We both had gotten our hands dirty in that regards, but I certainly blamed him for not telling me he was fired, or the fact that we had money troubles. I don't give a fuck about his stupid pride. He should have come to me. We could have worked through it together, like married couples were supposed to. I wouldn't have thought any less of him for getting fired. No, not like I did now. Why the hell couldn't he have just stayed away? Why did he have to come back for us and drag the kids into this mess? If he truly loved us he would have stayed away.

"Don't worry about it," Edward said, reaching out and holding my hand.

I looked down at our joined hands as I tried to hold back tears. That was when I noticed that something was very off, very wrong with his left hand. "Edward, your finger… you have a finger missing," I gasped, looking down at the stub where his pinky used to be.

Edward immediately pulled his hand away, covering it up. "Don't worry about it."

"What happened?" I whispered, glancing at the kids, making sure they were still asleep.

"It's a reminder," Edward stated, "a reminder never to cross the Cullens. I'm lucky that is all I got."

I started crying then. Edward pulled me into his arms and I started slapping his chest. "Oh my god, Edward, what have you done? What have you brought us into?"

"Shhh," he said, trying to console me, refusing to let me go no matter how hard I fought him. "It won't be as bad as you think. We'll make a life for ourselves in Mexico. We'll have each other."

I shook my head. "I'm not sure I can ever forgive you for this, Edward. You've ruined our lives."


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

Not sure how much I will be able to update this week, but I will try when I can. I will always be away all next weekend xx

**Chapter 34**

Edward and I barely spoke after our exchange. I was just so angry with him. I didn’t see how I would ever be able to get over my anger. I didn’t think Mexico could offer us and the kids anything, but unhappiness. I mean, what was he thinking getting our innocent children mixed up in all this?

At some point the jet landed and we were ushered into a car with tinted windows. The children barely woke up. They were exhausted. I was kinda glad because if they were awake and asking questions I honestly didn’t know what I was gonna tell them. What could I tell them? Your father has ruined all of our lives and we may never make it out of Mexico alive?

By the time we arrived at our destination, the sun was beginning to rise. I could see that we were in the middle of nowhere, smack dab in the middle of the desert. There would be no possible escape from this place. Our new home consisted of a large house in a middle of a camp, which was surrounded by various other buildings. There were large walls, tower houses and guards walking around with guns. I asked myself then, for the thousandth time how Edward could have possibly thought this was somewhere to take his family.

A couple came out the main house and walked towards us. The woman was about my age, she actually looked friendly and offered me a warm smile as I got out of the car. The same could not be said for the man who stood at her side. He appeared all serious, he actually kinda scared me a little.

Edward moved beside me and put his hand on the small of my back. I wasn’t sure if this was supposed to offer me reassurance. The only thing I wanted to do was grab his hand and shove it away, but I didn’t. I needed all the assurances I could get, that everything was going to be okay.

“Bella,” Edward said, gesturing towards the couple. “This is Alice and Jasper. Alice is Emmett’s sister and Carlisle’s daughter. Jasper is Alice’s husband.”

I stared at them, unsure what I was supposed to say, _It’s nice to meet you?_ It wasn’t. I would have been happy if I had never ever met them at all.

“It’s nice to finally you,” Alice said, “I’ve heard so much about you and the kids. Are they sleeping?” She asked, peering behind me to the car. I nodded, still unable to find my voice. “I’ve set you, Edward and the kids up in one of the annex houses. I thought you would prefer the space, rather than being in the main house with us. I hope that’s okay?” I nodded, still unable to speak. “I’ll show you the way, we can let the boys carry your things.” She started to walk away and I did the only thing I could do. I followed her.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 35**

The annex house wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. There were two bedrooms, one bathroom, living room, and a dinning room/kitchen combo. One of the bedrooms was for the kids to share and I guess the other one was supposed to be for us to share, not that that was going to happen. The living room was just as you came in the front door, it had a TV, video console, as well as a couple of sofas. The kitchen area was small, but there was a stove which meant I would be able to cook meals. It made me happy that we wouldn’t need to mix with the others all the time.

Alice gave me a tour of the place and then we ended up in the living room. “I guess you must be worried about coming here,” she said, turning to me. “Don’t be. You and the children are perfectly safe here. You are under my father’s protection.” I nodded, not really sure what to say to that. “I won’t lie, life will be different for you here, but you may come to like it. I know I’m happy to have another female around the place. All the testosterone around here can get a bit much at times.”

“Are there many women here?” I asked, curious.

“Just you and me,” she replied.

“Your mother?”

“She died giving birth to me.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, wishing I hadn’t brought it up.

Alice shrugged it off. “No big deal, it was a long time ago and it’s not as if I ever wanted for anything. I think my dad was even a little softer on me because of her absence. I guess I am what you could call spoiled. Although, Jasper doesn’t nearly spoil me as much as my father does. He’s stricter, more of a no nonsense kinda guy. I think that’s why my father chose him for me. He said I needed a firmer hand, though I can work Jasper around my finger when I need to. Anyway, I’ll let you get settled in. I’ll come back later and give you a tour of the compound.”

I thanked Alice for her kindness and watched her walk away. It wasn’t long after that that the men brought our luggage. The kids were awake now, but a little moody. I figured they were just tired and hungry. Luckily, someone had stocked the cupboard so I went about fixing them something to eat. That was when Olivia declared that she couldn’t find Honey, her teddy bear. I tried searching through all our bags, but she was right. The bear was nowhere to be found.

“We’ll get you another one,” Edward said, bending down and cupping her face, but Olivia wasn’t having it. She loved that bear. She’d had it since she was a baby after all.

“I don’t want another bear!” she screamed. “I want honey.”

“Well, you can’t have honey. I’m afraid I can’t go back and get him.”

She stared at Edward for a moment before shouting, “I hate you, I wish you had never come back!” then she stormed off to her room. My heart hurt for my daughter, but part of me was also pleased that she wasn’t making this easy for Edward. He should know that he can’t buy her off with another bear.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 36**

“She’s not going to forgive you until you go and get honey back,” I stated once we were alone.

Edward sighed and run his hand through his hair. “I can’t go back and get the bear. It took everything in me to persuade Carlisle to let me come and get you.”

“Why did you come and get me? Why didn’t you leave us alone?”

“I always planned to come and get you, when Emmett told me you were working at that seedy massage parlor I knew I had to get you out as soon as possible.”

“What, didn’t you like the idea of your wife jacking off other men?” Edward looked at me and growled. “Don’t forget you were the one who put us in that position,” I snarled, pointing a finger at him. “I don’t regret anything I’ve done. Everything I did, I did to keep a roof over your children’s head and food in their belly, which is more than you can say.”

“I already told you, that I left to make some fast cash, so that I can make things better.”

“Yeah? What about all those months when you let our savings dwindle. When you ran up our credit card bills and spent the kids college fund, all because of your fucking pride. Well, fuck you and your fucking pride,” I said, marching over to him and lifting my hand in the air with the intent on slapping him.

“Don’t.” Edward growled, grabbing my wrist. “Don’t push me, Bella. I’m not the man you married. I’ve changed. I’ve seen and don’t things you can’t imagine. I admit I made a fucking mistake and I admire you for doing whatever it took to look after our children, but I am telling you it is over now. We are a family again, you are my wife and the sooner you fucking accept that, the better.”

“Your wife,” I scoffed beyond furious. “I’d rather be a whore than be your fucking wife. I’m getting a divorce, and the kids and I are moving back home. You can stay here in this place, alone, just like you deserve.”

Edward yanked my wrist and pulled me to him, getting into my personal space. “There will be no divorce. No one is leaving to go anywhere. You leave, and I will hunt you down and bring you back. You are my wife, my family, and that is never going to change.”

“If your plan was to make me hate you, then congratulations, you are doing a great job,” I hissed, before pulling my wrist free from his grip and marching through to the bedroom. I closed the door and flung myself on the bed, trying to hold back the sobs. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing I was crying.

 


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 37**

We had been summoned to dinner in the main house. I didn't want to go and I certainly didn't want to take the kids, but Edward said we couldn't refuse Carlisle's invitation it would be disrespectful and the last thing we wanted to do was piss him off. I guess I kinda of agreed with him on that point. I didn't want to piss the head of the cartel off, but I still didn't like it.

I had spent most of the day with the kids in their bedroom, avoiding Edward as best as I could, but he must have gotten fed up with us all avoiding him as he had come into the room and tried to join us. I had left him with the kids then. I was nowhere near ready to talk to him, never mind forgive him.

We were all now standing in our small living room, dressed to the nines. Edward had said that we should make an effort for Carlisle. He had been 'generous' after all, to allow us all to live together. Edward's words, not mine.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I was shitting myself, but I had to put on a brave face for the kids. I didn't want them to know anything was wrong. We all stepped out the front door. Edward took my hand, which only served to piss me off, but I didn't fight it mainly because I didn't want to cause a scene in front of the kids or the men round us.

The main house was huge. It was three stories high and as long as a football field. I think mansion would have been a better word. On the outside it wasn't much to look at, but inside was decorated in luxuries. Edward led the way into the house, to a dining room where a blonde haired man sat at a large table. "That's Carlisle," he whispered, so only I could hear. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I guess I was looking for someone older, much older. God, he couldn't have been much older than my mother and she was only in her late forties.

Carlisle looked up and saw us. A large smile spread across his face as he got out of his seat and walked towards us. "Bella, it's nice to finally meet you," he said, pulling me into his arms and giving me a hug before placing a kiss on both my cheeks. "And this must be Oliva and Jackson, right?" he leaned down and placed a kiss on Oliva's forehead, before ruffling Jackson's hair. He was certainly not what I had been expecting. "Please," he said, gesturing toward the table. "Join me."


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N** : Thanking my girl Sherry and sending her get well wishes xx

**Chapter 38**

"I hope your accommodations are okay," Carlisle said in-between bites of his meal. There had been an awkward silence filling the air since we had all taken our seats at the table, but now it would seem that Carlisle had decided to fill that void.

"It's fine, thank you," I said. I was trying my best to remain polite, which was hard to do since this man was part of the reason my family had been torn away from their home. Though I was smart enough to know that the head of the Cartel wasn't someone I wanted to piss off.

"I know it's not much to look at," Carlisle continued, "but Alice assured me that you would be more comfortable in your own space than here in the house with us."

I choked mid-bite on a piece of chicken at the thought of being stuck here, in the house with them. Edward began to pat my back, but all I really wanted to do was scream at him not to touch me. I finally managed to stop choking. I took a drink of water and offered a small smile to Carlisle. "Alice is right. I am grateful that we have our own space and I wouldn't want to over impose on your generosity."

"Nonsense," Carlisle said, dismissing me with his hand. "I may not appreciate Edward's attempt to steal from me, but I can understand a man doing whatever it takes to provide for his family. I wasn't always in the position I am now. I've had to struggle to put food on the table too. We have all had to make hard decisions when it comes down to providing for our families. I also know about the choices you've had to make in your husband's absence. I don't think any less of you because of these choices, but Edward is right, you shouldn't have to suffer because of his mistakes. I'm glad that you are away from that place and no longer working."

I wanted to shout and yell at him to shut up. He was saying far too much in front of the kids. I could see they were taking in every word he said, the little wheels in their head were turning. I didn't want them to know what I had done or how much of a monster their father really was.

I glanced over at Edward, he had his head lowered, concentrating on his food. It was clear that he had no intention of speaking up to Carlisle. He obviously didn't care what the children found out. It made me wonder if he cared about anything anymore. It also made me want to stab my fork into his hand. I would take great pleasure in seeing him suffer, but no, I wouldn't put the kids through that. So I did my best to grin and bear it. Counting the minutes as they ticked past, waiting until we could return to our own prison cell.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N:** Sherry rocks xx

FYI – I have written the next TTTB and will post it as soon as I get it back xx

**Chapter 39**

"Do you have no backbone left at all?" I hissed at Edward as soon as we put the children to bed. "Why didn't you speak up? Why didn't stop him saying those things in front of the kids."

Edward sat down on the sofa, seemingly unaffected by my hostility. "You don't disrespect a man in his own home. Carlisle never went into details. He was merely saying his piece which he is entitled to do."

"Entitled!?" I snapped. "Have you lost your goddamn mind? How the fuck is he entitled to have a say in what goes on in my life?"

"Was it not his home you were sitting in. Was it not his food you were eating?"

I scoffed throwing my hands up in the air and then clenching and unclenching my fists. I wanted nothing more than to smack him in the face. Maybe it would even knock a little sense into him since he seemed to have lost his completely. "You're right. You have changed. You are not the man I married. I don't know who you are any more and I don't like you. The man I married had balls. The man I married would never have allowed that to take place in front of his children. Do you want them to know what you have done? Do you want them to know that their father is a fucking thief and a coward?"

Edward jumped off the sofa in a blink of an eye. He marched over to me, covering my mouth with his hand and shoving me against the wall. "Enough," he snarled, glancing towards the kids bedroom door. He waited a beat to see if they made any noise and when they didn't he removed his hand from my mouth, but still kept me pinned in place. "Don't mistake me for a fool, Bella. I am no fool. I know when and when not to open my mouth and tonight wasn't one of them. Carlisle demands respect and if you know what is good for you, you will give it to him and while you are at it you will give it to me. I am the man of the house and I will not tolerate you speaking to me like that."

"Man?" I scoffed. "You are not a man and you will not get an ounce of respect from me. If you want it you are gonna need to take it. Go on. I dare you. Beat me. Hit me. Make yourself feel like a big man."

Edward growled at me and then let me go. He stomped over to the front door, walking out and slamming it behind him.


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N** : Big thanks to my Sherry.

A small peek into Edward's mind.

Thanks for all your reviews/follows/favs much appreciated. xx

**Chapter 40**

**EPOV**

I stormed out our house and marched as far away as I could before I began to lose my shit. When I lost it nothing around me was safe. I smashed wooden crates, kicked over bins and punched the fuck out of a brick wall. By the time I was finished my knuckles were raw and bleeding.

"Hey man, you okay?" I looked up to see Garrett, one of Carlisle's men, heading toward me.

I sighed, shaking my head before I slid down the wall onto the ground, grasping my head. "I'm about as far away from okay as you can get," I said.

Garrett sat down beside me and went into his pocket, pulling out a pack of smokes and handing one to me before taking one himself. "Yeah, I can see that. You wanna talk about it?"

"What is there to talk about," I shrugged. "I fucked up. My wife and kids hate me and I don't think I will ever be able to change that."

Garrett took a long, deep drag of his cig, before blowing out the smoke. "They just need time, time to adjust to their new life. In time they will find out it's not as bad here as they think."

I laughed bitterly. "Yeah, I don't even think time is going to cut it. I don't see Bella accepting her life here. I don't see her accepting the way things are or trying to fit in. She doesn't seem to understand that this world runs on fear and respe-"

I didn't even get to finish what I was saying before Emmett shouted at me. "Hey, el Pozolero! My father wants to see you. He has another problem that he wants you to take care of."

I sighed. The last thing I needed right now was to take care of Carlisle's problems. I had enough of my own, but I knew I couldn't refuse him.

I got up off the ground. Emmett placed a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry. I will look after your family until you return brother."

I nodded. I knew I could take Emmett at his word. He wouldn't let anything happen to Bella or the kids. I just hoped wherever I was going that I wouldn't be gone long. I also hoped that Bella was less angry by the time I returned.


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N:** Sherry rocks xx

**Chapter 41**

After Edward left I showered and readied myself for bed. I fell asleep before he returned and when I woke up in the morning he was still nowhere to be seen. As much as I was glad for the space, part of me also wanted him beside me in this unknown territory. I would rather have him in my sight and glare at him, then be left to face this on my own.

I made the kids and I breakfast, though I didn't eat mine. I didn't have an appetite. After we dressed for the day there was still no sign of Edward. The kids wanted to go outside and explore, but I didn't like the idea of them going out on the compound without their dad. Therefore, I made them stay inside.

It wasn't until about eleven o'clock that there was a knock on the door. I was surprised to find Emmett standing there. "If you are looking for Edward, he's not here."

"I know. He's been sent away on a job," he replied. My stomach sank as I began to ponder what kind of job my husband could currently be doing.

"Oh," I replied, unsure what to say. "Do you know when he will be back?"

"Not sure. I don't know the details, but in his absence, if there is anything you need just let me know. Any problems, let me know."

He's not sure? What did that mean? A day? A week? A month? God, I couldn't imagine spending all that time in this place without Edward. I mean… I hated him, but still. He was the only familiar thing we had here. Also, what did Emmett mean any problems? Were we expected to encounter problems now that Edward was gone? God, I didn't have anything to defend ourselves with.

"Relax," Emmett said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Nothing is going to happen to you here. I give you my word, Bella." His word? I had no idea if his word even held any weight. "My father has a pool at the back of the main house. You and the kids are more than welcome to use it. I figured it would be better than sitting in here."

At the mention of said pool Jackson and Olivia began jumping around, followed by a chorus of _'can we go mom? Can we? Huh? Huh?'._

I hadn't packed any swim suits, but I figured a pair of shorts would do Jackson, and a t-shirt and shorts would do Olivia. So I agreed to take them. I would actually welcome the distraction. I just hoped that nothing happened while we were there.


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N:** Big thank you to Sherry xx

**Chapter 42**

We hadn't been at the pool long when Alice came down to join us. As soon as she appeared Emmett made an excuse to leave. "Hey," she smiled. "How are you holding up?" She took the seat beside mine and reached over and gave my hand a small squeeze. It was a small gesture of comfort, but one I very much appreciated considering how alone I felt in the world.

"Things could be better," I said, trying my best to muster up a smile. "I'm feeling a little overwhelmed if the truth be told." I swallowed back a lump in my throat as tears threaten to fall. I had been strong for so long, I wasn't sure that I could be strong much longer.

"Things will get easier," Alice assured me. "I know that things are rough right now and Edward going away doesn't help the fact, but you just got to kept pushing through. If not for yourself, then for your kids." At that, Alice glanced over at the two of them. They were both splashing about the pool, having the time of their lives. They were completely oblivious to everything that was going on around them. They were just happy about having their dad back in their lives and excited about our new living arrangements. Even the guards with the guns didn't seem to faze them.

I nodded. I knew Alice was right, but… "Edward, he's just changed so much. I can't ever see us working things out. I can't ever see us being happy again, especially now that we are prisoners here."

"Prisoners?" Alice asked, confused. "You are not prisoners. You are free to come and go as you please. No one is holding you here. Although, I do advise taking a guard if you ever go out for your own protection."

Now, I was the one that was confused. "Edward warned me-"

"Edward's not here," Alice smiled. "You want to go out, you can go out. Hell, I'll take you out this afternoon. We can take the kids. I'll show you around. We can even grab a bite to eat. If anyone has a problem with that then they can answer to me."

I smiled at Alice, my first genuine smile in a while. "Are you sure it's safe?"

"Positive," she said, smiling in return. "Be ready by three o'clock. We can take my car and I'll have a guard follow us. I'll show you a good time and you can forget all about your worries. I promise you that you'll have fun."


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 43**

Being with Alice was refreshing. I think if I let myself, I could forget about everything that had happened recently and believe that I was simply out with a friend, but as it happens, the unfamiliar land and the bodyguard who was always two steps behind us prevented me from doing just that.

Alice was treated like royalty in her local town. Everyone went out of their way to greet her and ensure that she was happy. We never even paid for our meal. _It was on the house._ I had never experienced anything like it, but to Alice it seemed like an everyday part of life. I don't think she even noticed their generosity anymore. Though I can't fault her, she was more than kind to me and the kids. She bought us weather appropriate clothing, swimwear and accessories. It had been hard to accept her generosity, but she seemed like she truly wanted to help and I knew neither I nor Edward would to be able to purchase the things the kids needed.

After an early dinner and some shopping we stopped at a little bistro to refuel our energy with some coffee. Alice and I were sipping away on our drinks while the kids played around with each other. I was feeling very relaxed, soaking up the heat of the sun until I heard Oliva shout, "Daddy!"

I looked up to see a very pissed off Edward marching toward us. His gaze firmly fixed on me. I think he barely noticed Oliva, who ran and hugged him around the waist. I had never before remembered feeling so afraid of my husband. "What do you think you're doing?" he hissed.

I jumped up to my feet and held my hands out, silently begging him not to cause a scene, not in front of the kids and certainly not out here in public. "Alice was kind enough to offer to take us out for the afternoon," I said, gesturing toward Alice, hoping he would remember who she is and rein himself in.

"You knew I didn't want you to leave the compound."

"Dad!?" Jackson questioned, looking between us both, wondering what was going on.

"They were perfectly safe," Alice told him from her seat. She didn't look in the least bit affected by his anger. "Garrett was with us the entire time, there is no need to be worried."

At that moment the guard stepped forward and put a hand on Edward's chest, whispering something in his ear. Edward relaxed a little, but he still didn't seem entirely pleased. "I want you home. Now," he said, before marching off and leaving us all behind.

The guard turned to me and smiled. "It's okay," he assured me. "Sit down and finish your coffee. I'm sure he just got a fright returning to the compound to find you all gone."

I sat back down, but I never touched my coffee. I simply waited for Alice to be finished so she could give us a ride home.


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N:** Thanks goes to Sherry

Thank you very much for all the reviews/follows/favs. Much appreciated xx

**Chapter 44**

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Did you have a complete personality transplant because I have no idea who you are anymore?" I was grateful that Alice had offered to occupy the children so that Edward and I could have a chat, but I didn't feel like chatting as much as I did hurting his face.

"I'm sorry, okay," he sighed, before running his hand through his hair. "When I came back and you weren't here. I freaked out. I thought that something had happened to you or that you had ran. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that in front of the kids."

"You shouldn't have spoken to me like that period, Edward. You would never have dreamed of speaking to me like that before. Why is it acceptable now?"

"It's not, okay," he sighed, sitting down on the sofa. "I'm trying, okay? I'm fucking trying. I'm trying to be the type of man that can leave what he does at the door when he comes home to his family. It isn't easy, especially when all we do is argue."

"You disappear from my life and then randomly showed up and kidnapped me and the kids. I'm sorry, should I have been more welcoming?"

"Don't you think that I wanted to be with you? Don't you think that I thought about you every second of the day? Don't you think I worried? I never wanted to leave you in the first place, but things had gotten too deep. I thought I had found a quick fix out of our problems. I was stupid. God, I'm lucky to be alive. I wouldn't be alive had it not been for Emmett. I owe him everything. He convinced his father to spare my life. Carlisle took my pinky, gave me a beating and then put me to work. Do you know what I do for a living, Bella? I make people disappear. I have so much blood on my hands. So much fucking blood because I couldn't tell you I had lost my job." He hid his face in his hands. I wasn't sure if he was crying or not. Part of me wanted to go to him, comfort him, but the other part of me was terrified. My husband had just admitted to me that he had taken lives, lots of lives.

"Please, Edward," I said, falling at his feet. "Let's leave. Let's get the kids and run away. No good can ever come out of living here. We can find some place and start over. We can be a family again."

Edward laughed bitterly. "You don't run from the cartel, Bella. There is no place on this earth we would be able to hide. Trust me on that."


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N:** Big thanks to my lady Sherry xx

**Chapter 45**

I would be lying if I said Edward's words hadn't haunted me for days and I wasn't even talking about the fact that he said there would be no place on earth that we could hide from these people. No, I was talking about the fact that he had said he had so much blood on his hands… His soul was now tainted. He was now tainted. I realized that was what he meant when he said that he had changed. While I may have changed too, I wasn't haunted by the things that I had done. I could look myself in the mirror. I wasn't so sure the same could be said for him. He was broken.

I could see now that there was no point in fighting him on this life. We weren't going anywhere, not until Edward had paid his debt and there was a chance that his debt would never be paid in full. All we could do now was try to make the best of our lives. I wasn't sure if I could ever love him again, or see him as my husband, but surely we could find some way to make it through this. If not for us, then for our children. We could be friends, if nothing else.

I got it into my head that perhaps if I somehow won Carlisle's favor then he might let us move out of the compound. I wasn't sure exactly where we'd move to. I understood it would need to be somewhere nearby so that Edward would be close for when Carlisle needed him. It was a stupid idea. I had told myself that a million times, but it was the only idea that I had and I believed if I didn't have something to cling to then I may fall apart.

That was why that afternoon I had spent the time baking with the kids. We had baked Carlisle one of my mother's special sponge cakes and were now standing in his hall waiting to be received. Edward didn't know anything about my plan. He was out, 'working' and I wasn't sure he would be entirely happy about the idea, but I felt like I had to try.

"Bella?" Carlisle said, coming out of his office. He looked surprised to see me. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," I said, pushing Olivia towards him a little. She was holding the cake. I had even made her wear her best dress. "The kids and I were baking this afternoon and we had some extras, it's my mother's special recipe. I thought you might enjoy a slice or two."

"Why, that was very kind of you," Carlisle said as he took the cake from Oliva. "Thank you. I'm actually in the middle of something or I would offer for you to join me for a piece."

"That's okay," I smiled. "We didn't want to disturb you." I took the kid's hands and lead them out the house, praying he enjoyed the cake and the thought behind it.


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N:** Big thanks to Sherry xx

**Chapter 46**

"You baked Carlisle a cake?" Edward asked, baffled. I figured either Carlisle had told him or one of the guards had been talking.

I shrugged. "Are there rules against baking him a cake?"

"No… but why the hell would you bake him a cake?"

"I figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to get on his good side. Maybe if we get on his good side, he will let us move off the compound. I understand that you still owe him and that isn't going to change, but you have to admit that life would be easier, especially for the kids if we didn't live here."

Edward shook his head, squeezing his nose. "Bella, it's a dangerous game you are playing. You can't just go around baking cakes and trying to butter Carlisle up. Please, just let me try and figure something out. I'll talk to Emmett. Maybe he will help us, but promise me that you won't make him any more cakes."

I sighed. I honestly didn't see what the big deal was. Surely Carlisle wasn't offended by me baking him a cake. "Okay, fine. I won't make any more cakes. Though maybe instead of asking Emmett I should ask Alice? She seems nice-"

"No!" Edward snapped. "I don't want you asking anyone anything, or coming up with any silly plans. Just focus on looking after the kids and keeping them safe and I'll see what I can do. Okay?"

"My plan wasn't silly," I muttered, "but fine. Whatever. You deal with the issue, but just know that if you don't get the results I want then I won't stand idly by. I will take matters into my own hands and deal with it myself."

Edward didn't appear to like my response, but I think I had somewhat appeased him by me agreeing not to make any more cakes. I just hoped that he was able to make some sort of arrangement to get us out of here. My kids needed to live somewhere safe. They needed somewhere they could play. They also needed some sort of environment where they could learn. I wasn't sure sending them to school would work, but perhaps I could home school them. They also needed to be in contact with our family back home. I was sure they missed my mom, Sam, Emily and Rosalie. I know I did. Perhaps if we managed to move outside the compound I could reconnect with them and pass our life off as somewhat normal. I could only hope that became a possibility.


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 47**

I had no idea how Edward had done it, but he had. He had convinced Carlisle to let us move off the compound and Emmett had even offered to allow us to live in one of his houses. It was in a town about half an hour away from the compound, so not that far if they needed Edward, but far enough to give us all our own space.

The kids and I were beyond ecstatic. One step closer to freedom. Edward was even happy for once. Though, I think he was just happy to see us all smile for a change. He and Emmett had spent most of the afternoon moving our things, not that there had been much to move; only what we had taken from our home and a few toys that the kids had acquired.

As a thank you, I had spent most of the afternoon in the kitchen cooking a dinner for Emmett to say thank you. Surprisingly, Edward didn't complain about this like he had the cake. I was still trying to work out why that had infuriated him so much, but I suppose it didn't matter as it had motivated Edward enough to get us here.

"Dinner was amazing," Emmett said, wiping his mouth with his napkin and then sitting back in his chair. "I don't think I could eat another drop, but I wouldn't mind taking some of the tacos home for later."

I smiled at him. I wasn't surprised he was stuffed. He had eaten eight tacos as well as some salad and then some chocolate cream pie. "I'll make sure to pack some up for you before you leave."

"I'd appreciate that."

"Uncle Emmett, if you eat anymore your going to get fat," Jackson stated.

I wasn't sure what shocked me more. The fact that he had called him uncle or the fact that he had told him he was going to fat. "Jackson," I chastised him. "Don't be so rude." I also wanted to correct him and point out that Emmett wasn't his uncle, but I didn't. I bit my lip from speaking out of turn. I suppose Emmett had been good to us, other than the initial kidnapping that was.

Emmett laughed as he ruffled Jackson's hair, who was sitting beside him. "It's okay. He didn't mean any harm. Anyway, Jackson," he said, lifting his arms and flexing his muscles, "I have to eat a lot to feed the swans."

"Swans?" Jackson asked, confused.

Emmett proceeded to bend and flex his arms in the shape of two swans. "Swans," he repeated.

Edward laughed, amused by their chit-chat.

"I don't like swans," Oliva stated as she pushed the food around on her plate. "They bite."

I shook my head as I got up to clear the table, but I had to admit this was the most relaxed I had felt in a long time.


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 48**

The house Emmett had loaned us was only a two bedroom, which meant that Jackson and Olivia had to share a room, but it had come completely furnished and apart from the lack of bedrooms, it was very spacious. It also had a secure yard for the kids to play. I believed we could be happier here, not as happy as we could have been at home, but certainly better than the compound.

Edward and I hadn't discussed it, but as far as I was concerned, he was taking the couch. He may have somehow managed to get us away from the cartel, but I had by no means forgiven him. I doubt I ever would. If anything we could grow to coexist without any animosity.

"I'm going out," Edward said as he came into the kitchen. I had just put the kids to bed and was now chilling in the kitchen with a glass of wine.

"Where are you going?"

"To work."

"I, uh, thought you would at least have tonight off, it is our first night here." Truth be told, I hadn't thought what it would be like to stay here at night when he wasn't around. I didn't like the idea of being in a strange town, in a strange country without him to look after us.

"I have to work," Edward stated. I guess we weren't going to argue about this. Not that I wanted to. If he didn't work as Carlisle told him, then there was a possibility that we would be forced to move back to the compound.

"Okay."

"You'll be fine here without me, Bella. Lock the door after I leave and I've left Emmett's cell number by the phone. Call him if you need anything."

That got my attention. We had a phone here. I could call home. I could call my mother. "Where is the phone?" I inquired, trying to act cool.

"Down the hall in the office," Edward said, taking a step away, but then turned back around to look at me. "Don't rock the boat, Bella. Call home if you have to, but don't go causing trouble for us down here. I don't need to tell you who will be the ones to suffer if you do."

I hated that he could read me or knew me more than I liked. "I won't."

I watched him leave, and then I locked the door. After that I practically ran to the office to use the phone. I couldn't wait to hear my mother's voice.


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N:** Thankoo Sherry xx

**Chapter 49**

"Mom," I cried into the phone as soon as I heard her voice. "It's me."

"Oh my god, Bella, where are you? Are you okay? Are the kids okay? I've been worried out of my mind, praying that you would call."

"I'm sorry," I said, twirling the phone wire between my fingers, "I haven't been able to call before now."

"What happened, Bella? The girls said Edward showed up out of the blue with this guy and took you from the club… Jacob has been looking everywhere for you and the kids. It's been all over the local news."

"Mom," I sighed. "I can't talk about what happened. Not now. I just wanted to call and see that you were okay. I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you so much too baby, you and those grandbabies of mine."

"Yeah, they miss you too," I said as tears began to roll down my cheeks. It hurt so much to hear her voice, but at the same time it was soothing. "Are you okay mom? I mean are you managing okay?"

"I'm fine, baby, you don't need to worry about me. Emily and Sam are looking after me." I smiled

"Tell Emily and Sam that I loved them so much…Rosalie, too. Listen mom, I have to go."

"But you just got on the phone."

"I know, but it was just a quick call. I had to hear your voice, make sure you were doing okay… Mom, do me a favor, no more looking for me. Tell Jacob to stop searching. No more local news. The kids and I are okay. I'll call you again when I get the chance. I love you, mom."

I hung up the phone before she had the chance to reply and then I just sat there crying. I was so grateful that I had such good friends. I should have known that Emily and Sam would be looking after her. I knew they wouldn't let anything happen to her, but hopefully she listened to what I said. Hopefully Jacob would stop looking for us and there would be no more local news broadcasts about us. I knew drawing attention to the Cartel, to Carlisle, wouldn't do us any favors. We had to do everything we could to stay on their good side, which was the reason I refused to discuss any of that stuff with her. I knew saying the wrong thing would only trigger her worry and possibly give us unwanted attention.

I must have fallen asleep crying at the desk because the next thing I knew Edward was lifting me and carrying me upstairs. "Shhh," he whispered, "I've got you." For some reason his words actually reassured me, and I fell back into a deep sleep.


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 50**

"Did you call home?" Edward quizzed, watching me.

The kids had just finished eating breakfast and I was now washing up the dishes. Thankfully, they had gone outside to play so they hadn't heard what Edward ask me about. I was sure they had to be missing home too, especially our friends and family. "I did." To be honest, I didn't feel like elaborating on my answer. It wasn't something I wanted to talk about with him. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me upset.

"How'd it go?"

"Fine."

"Are you annoyed with me?" he sighed, sitting his mug of coffee down and walking over to me.

"You mean more than usual? No. I just don't want to talk about home."

"You didn't tell your mom anything that you shouldn't have, did you?" he asked, looking for the answers in my eyes.

"No," I snapped. "Of course, I didn't. What do you take me for? A fool? I wouldn't put her in danger like that. It's bad enough that our lives are ruined. I wouldn't wish that on her."

"Our lives aren't ruined."

"No? Cause we're living the dream right now?" I sighed, exasperated and tossed my arms up in the air. I couldn't talk to him when he was like this. Sometimes I really did believe he lived in cookoo land.

"Don't turn your back on me when we are talking," Edward hissed, grabbing my shoulder and spinning me around. "Ignoring me isn't going to make this shit any better. We need to talk it through."

"I'm done talking with you… In fact, I can't even stand looking at you. You used to be the man I love, but instead all I see now is the man who ruined our family. I hate you," I snarled, pushing his chest. "I wish you were dead."

Edward grabbed my hands and held them still, glaring down at me. "Don't say shit you might never be able to take back."

"Oh, you think that I don't want you dead!?" I roared. "I do. Maybe then we can go back home. Maybe then we can be happy again."

"Mom?" I turned around toward the back door to see two little faces looking at me. I broke then. I had no idea how long they had been standing there listening. "Do you really want dad to die?" Olivia asked.

I shook my head, trying to hold back tears. I felt like a complete failure. I pushed Edward away from me and marched toward the front door. I didn't even care if I was or wasn't supposed to go out then. I just needed time to be away from them all. I needed time to get my head straight.


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N:** Sherry rocks

Thank you very much for all your wonderful reviews. I am sorry I don't have the time to reply to them, but I appreciate every one xx

Also… I used google translate. I hope it makes sense :)

**Chapter 51**

I couldn't believe that the kids had heard me say that. They weren't supposed to hear me say that. Edward had got under my skin. He had pushed my buttons and made me so mad. I honestly did hate him. Our life would have been so much easier if he never came back. I constantly asked myself why he had to come back. Why couldn't he leave us alone? Because Emmett had been spying on us? Because he knew I was getting other men off and his jealous side couldn't handle it? He honestly can't say it was because I was degrading myself and he didn't like it. I mean… this life wasn't any less degrading.

"Se ha perdido damita?"

I looked up to see two local men standing outside of their house watching me. I had no idea what they said so I put my head down and continued walking, ignoring them.

"Yo no iría de esa manera, es peligroso. Señora verá cosas que no le gusten."

 _Peligroso_ _._ I had heard that word before, but I couldn't remember what it meant. I should have really paid attention when I was in the compound and tried to learn the local language, but I had been stubborn and had insisted that I wouldn't be here long. How wrong was I? It now looked like I was stuck here, that I would never escape this hell.

I kept walking down random streets, not really paying any attention to where I was going. I was just trying to walk out my anger, but the further I walked, the more I began to realize that the two men had been trying to warn me. The streets this way were rundown. It wasn't exactly the most welcoming of areas. There was broken glass everywhere and litter all over the road. Most of the windows were boarded up. It almost looked abandoned and yet I could hear the sounds of people around me so I knew it wasn't.

I decided to head back home before I walked that far I got lost. Just as I turned around, I bumped into a man about my height. He was completely covered in tattoos. He even had them all over his face. If the tattoos weren't frightening enough, the sneer on his face certainly was. "Excuse me," I said, trying to step around him, but he moved to block my path.

"Raúl!" he shouted over his shoulder. "Parece que se pierde esta puta."


	52. Chapter 52

**A/N:** Some of you got it, some of you didn't. Bella didn't understand what they were saying so we weren't meant to either. That said… my personal preference is that I don't like translations in stories, which is why I don't put them in mine.

WARNING: This might be a little rough for some of you to read.

**Chapter 52**

_Puta,_ I was pretty sure that word meant whore. "No!" I shouted, putting my hands in front of me. "I'm not a whore. I'm just lost." The man never listened to me though. He walked me backward until my back hit the nearest wall. Raul, I presume, appeared behind him then. He was a beast of a man. He could easily have given Emmett a run for his money. He was also covered in tattoos. "I'm lost," I pleaded with them. "I'm Edward Masen's wife. Do you know Edward Masen? He works for Carlisle?" Was that even Carlisle or Edward's street names? I didn't know.

I began to cry as the two mean stared down at me looking like they had found their next meal. "Please… I have a family, kids. Please just let me go."

They didn't listen. Raul grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a building across the street. The inside of the building wasn't much cleaner than the street. He tossed me onto a mattress in the corner of the room. I immediately moved to get up, but the other man kicked me in the stomach knocking the wind from me. I coughed and rolled onto my side, clutching my stomach. I wanted to cry and plead with them, even though I didn't think there was much point. I wasn't even sure they understood me, but I couldn't because I could hardly breathe.

Raul moved toward me with a smile on his face as he unbuckled his belt. He unbuttoned his trousers, and pulled his cock out, fisting it with his hand. "Puta," he spat. There was no way I was about to just let him rape me, which looked exactly what he planned to do. I would fight him every second of the way if it came down to that. The other man had moved away from us to watch the show, so I grabbed a large piece of wood that was near the mattress and swung it at Raul, hitting him right where it hurts.

Raul dropped to the floor in pain and I made a dash to the door, but the other prick caught me before I could reach it. He slammed me face first into the concrete floor, making me dizzy and disorientated. I was vaguely aware of him turning me around. I could feel my top being torn, his weight firmly pressed down on me and then he was gone. "Little finger!" I heard him gasp and then I blacked out.


	53. Chapter 53

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 53**

Noise. I could hear so much noise around me, but it felt as if I was in my own bubble and the sounds weren't strong enough to penetrate the barrier. I was too busy floating away, to god knows where. All I knew was that it had to be better than where I was before everything had blacked out. I couldn't remember the exact details of where I had been. All I could remember is that I had made a mistake, a huge mistake. I had been frightened and in a lot of pain. It hadn't been a nice place.

I wanted to go home to my mom. I wanted to go back to my friends. I may have stated that fact several times, murmuring in my sleep as I tossed and turned. When I finally managed to open my eyes, I saw a very worried Edward staring at me. I looked around the room, but I didn't recognize it. The kids were nowhere to be seen either. "Where am I?" I croaked, but the words barely came out. My mouth was so dry, my throat burned.

Edward automatically lifted a glass of water from somewhere beside me. He placed the straw from the glass in my mouth. "Drink," he ordered. I complied, not because he said to, but because I really did needed a drink. "You are in Carlisle's house," he said when I was finished. "Alice and Jasper are with the kids back in town. I didn't want the kids to see you like… this. I didn't want to upset them anymore than they already were." He stood up and walked away from me, rubbing his face in his hands. "I knew things weren't great between us, but… I never expected you to get hurt. I brought you here to protect you, but it seems the only person you needed protecting from was me. I should never have brought you into this world Bella, and for that I am sorry. God, if I hadn't made it there in time… I didn't make it there in time."

He walked over to the room door, pausing with his hand on the handle, his back to me. "As soon as you're fit to travel I am sending you and the kids back home to your mom." He walked out the door after that and that was the last time I saw him before we left Mexico. I did ask Emmett and Carlisle about him every time they both came to check-in on me, but both of them always told me he was busy. I guess he didn't want to see me anymore because I truly didn't believe that he had been that 'busy' for four weeks, that he didn't have the time to come and see me even once.


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 54**

The journey home was hard. The kids were full of so many questions about where I had been. Why we were leaving and why daddy wasn't coming with us. I wished I had the answers for them, but the truth was I didn't. I had no idea why we were suddenly leaving Mexico, other than Edward had decided to let us go. Would they ever see their dad again? I didn't know the answer to that one either.

They informed me that Edward had spent the majority of the time I had been healing with them. He hadn't told them that we were going home or what was wrong with me, other than I was sick. I was glad to know he had been with them rather than leaving them with a stranger, but my heart hurt to know that they might never see their father again. It would be so much harder for them after having him in their lives again. Would they blame me? Would they resent me?

"Daddy says you don't hate him," Oliva said as she took my hand in hers. "He said you were sick that day and didn't know what you were saying. Is that true mom? Do you hate daddy?"

I looked down at Oliva and then glanced over at Jackson, they were both staring at me, waiting for an answer. "No," I said, shaking my head and fighting back tears. "I don't hate your father. He doesn't always make the right choices, but I don't hate him. How could I when he gave me you both?" As I spoke the words to the kids, I realized what I was saying was true. I didn't hate Edward. He pissed me off and made me really angry, but I didn't hate him. He was only trying to do what he thought was best, just like I had been when I took the job at The Rub. In the end he had done the right thing. He had set us free.

When we eventually arrived at mom's my heart broke. I was so relieved to see her. She came running out the house as she saw me leave the car. We both ran to each other and held each other tight. The kids joined us and we pushed them in the middle of our embrace. Sam and Emily joined us too. We all stood there hugging in the middle of my mom's front yard for what felt like hours, but even if it had been hours, it wouldn't have been enough. I was finally home. I was complete, or so I thought.


	55. Chapter 55

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry x

**Chapter 55**

**EPOV**

Sending Bella and the kids back to America had to be one of the hardest things I had ever done, but I honestly didn't see any other option. She was unhappy here, miserable, and bringing her into my world had only gotten her hurt. I could see now that I should never have brought her here in the first place. She didn't belong in this world. She wasn't strong enough. I hadn't been either at one point, but when you had seen and done the things that I had, you had no choice but to toughen up or die.

Carlisle was furious that I had let her go, especially with the fact that Emmett had helped me return her home. I could see his point. She had seen the compound. She knew all of our faces. She had probably seen people coming and going that she shouldn't have, but none of that mattered to me. The only thing that mattered to me was her and the kid's safety, their happiness. If she stood any chance of being happy again, it wasn't here in Mexico. Carlisle would need to accept the fact that she was gone and leave her alone. If not… he would leave me no option. I would have to intervene.

I had no idea how Emmett would feel about me taking out his father, but if I had to go to war with him as well I would. I would do anything it took to make my family safe. It was all I could do now to right the wrongs of my past. I may be just one man, but I now knew the inner workings of the cartel. They had let me into their world. They had shown me the ropes, introduced me to their acquaintances. I would take every last one of them on if I had to.


	56. Chapter 56

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry x

**Chapter 56**

The weeks that followed our return were full of questions; not only from my family and friends, but the cops as well, especially Jacob. The local news station had even been camped outside my mother's house at one point, but they soon got bored of the lack of answers and left us alone. The main thing everyone wanted to know was where we were. I did my best to avoid giving anyone any information. Getting the kids not to share what they knew was trickier, but somehow we managed to get by without sharing any information that could lead to Edward getting into trouble.

After two weeks I got the kids enrolled back in school. They were excited to see their friends again, but we would all have to work hard at catching them up with all the school work they missed. Although, I had tried my hardest to teach them what I could when we were gone, it hadn't been enough.

I also managed to get a part-time job in the local café. It wasn't much, but at least it was good, clean, honest work and I could work it around the kids. With my mom's help we were slowly, and I mean slowly, getting back on our feet. Most of our possessions were gone, thanks to the debt we were in. The only things we had was what Edward brought to Mexico and a few personal things that my mom and Em had managed to save. It would be a long time before I ever owned a car again, or my own place for that fact, but we were working with what we had. I was just so thankful to be back home, even if that meant the kids and I would be all squashed into the same bedroom. It didn't matter to me.

I would be lying if I said my thoughts didn't turn to Edward every now and again. I had no way of contacting him, which I thought was both a good and bad idea. I didn't even know if he was still alive. It was entirely possible given the world that he lived in, that he wasn't. That thought chilled me, but there was nothing I could do about it. I would just have to learn to accept that he wasn't part of our life now. He was gone.

I did grieve for him. In a way it did feel as if he was dead. At the very least the man I had fallen in love with and married was. However, it was doubtful that any of us would ever see him again so I had to push my feelings and thoughts aside. I had to be strong for the kids and show them that everything was going to be okay. Everything was going to be fine.


	57. Chapter 57

**A/N:** Big thanks to Sherry.

I hope all my American readers and friends had a great Thanksgiving xx

**Chapter 57**

"I want to take an extra lunch with me today," Olivia said, as she stuffed her homework into her backpack. She had been sitting at the small kitchen table while I made her and Jackson's packed lunches on the counter. The months had practically flown by since we had returned home. We were now in our own little routine. The kids were fairly settled and happy. It was more than I could have ever hoped for.

"An extra lunch?" I asked, presuming she wanted it for one of her little friends, whose parents were struggling and couldn't afford to pack a lunch for their child.

"Yeah, in case daddy shows up again," she said matter-of-factly.

"Daddy!?" I asked, shocked. The knife I was holding fell from my hand and dropped to the floor.

"Yeah," she said, staring at me. "He came to the school to see me yesterday. He said he will see me again soon. I hope that means he's coming to see me today." My mind began to race with all kinds of thoughts. Had he really been there, or was this her imagination, and why hadn't she mentioned it when she arrived home from school yesterday? Plus, why would he go to the school to see her and not contact me? Did that mean he planned to take them? Oh, god. Should I call the school or the police? "He was asking about you. He said he misses all of us. I told him you weren't sad anymore, that I didn't think you liked Mexico. You didn't, did you mom?"

I gripped onto the kitchen counter, trying to catch my breath. Her words were no longer reaching me. I didn't know what I should do or who I should turn to. I couldn't lose my babies. A voice in my head was screaming for me to grab them and run, run as fast as I could, but I knew we wouldn't get far, not without a car. Anyway, was there really anywhere I could run that he couldn't find me?

"Hello?" the sound of Rosalie's voice barely registered on my ears as she walked into the house. Emily, Sam and Rose had been helping me get the kids to and from school since we had returned. "Bella, are you alright?" she asked, as she walked into the kitchen. She came over to me, grabbing my face in her hands and tilting my head until I looked at her. "You look sick. What happened?" She guided me over to one of the chairs at the table when I didn't answer and sat me down. "Olivia, what happened to your mommy?"

"I don't know. She started acting funny when I asked her to make me an extra lunch for daddy."


	58. Chapter 58

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 58**

After having a complete meltdown, and then explaining everything to Rosalie, she convinced me to call into work sick so we could see what was happening for ourselves. We spent the entire morning staked out in her car at the school watching for Edward. Not that I actually knew what I would do if he was to show. Would I confront him, or contact the school? I knew in my heart of hearts there was no way I would contact the cops. I also knew there was no way he would willingly take my children from me, but what if he was merely following orders? What if Carlisle wanted my children to ensure my silence, but why would he come after us, after-all these months?

"He's here," Rosalie said, snapping me from my thoughts. "Damn, he looks good. That suit fits like a glove." I looked over to where she was staring and sure enough, there was Edward standing on the grass by the chain link fence. She was right. He did look good, a lot better than he did when we were back in Mexico. "You should go and talk to him."

"And say what?" I snapped. I wasn't sure I was ready to be in the same air space as him. I had already come to terms with the fact that I was never supposed to see him again. Seeing him would only trigger emotions I wasn't willing, or ready to feel.

Rosalie turned to look at me. "I dunno. How about you ask him what the hell he is up to? If you won't do it, I will."

She moved to grab the handle of the door. I caught her arm. "No," I sighed. "I'll do it. I'll talk to him." I took a deep breath, getting out the car. I smoothed down my clothes and fixed my hair before I began to walk towards him. When I was about halfway there he looked up and saw me coming. He looked surprised, but then he smiled, like he was glad to see me.

"Hey," he said in a way of greeting.

"Hey," I replied, playing with the sleeves of my blouse. God, why did I feel so nervous? I should be over here shouting at him, demanding to know what he was doing here. Asking why he was sneaking around, seeing our children behind my back. "Olivia said that you came to visit her yesterday, that you might be coming to see her today. She asked me to make her an extra lunch to bring for you… I, uh, I thought you were only her imagination. I came here wanting to see for myself, and here you are."

"Yeah," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "This is the first chance I've had to come stateside. I was desperate to see the kids. I know I should have come to see you first, but I didn't want to upset you. I wasn't sure how you would be, but Olivia assures me that you're doing better now?"

"I, uh, I'm doing as well as can be expected."

"Do you want to go for a coffee, sit down somewhere and talk?"

"Talk," I said, repeating his word, trying to take everything in and failing.

"Yeah, talk," he said, holding his hands up. "I promise I won't bite."

I shook my head. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Maybe not, but we have a lot to talk about. I'll be stateside more often now. I would like to see the kids… you, if possible. Please, just give me ten minutes. You are free to get up and leave at any time you want."

"Okay, ten minutes," I agreed.

"Just let me say hello to Olivia and then we'll go."

"Okay, I should probably tell Rose as well. She's waiting in the car." I left Edward while he went to see our daughter through the fence. I didn't want her to see the two of us together anyway and get the wrong idea. I went over to Rose and filled her in on our plans. She wasn't enthusiastic about it, but even she agreed that we should talk.


	59. Chapter 59

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry x

**Chapter 59**

"So," I said, staring down at the coffee cup I was currently nursing. "Why are you here? Why did you come back after all this time?"

"Bella," Edward said softly, not speaking again until I was looking up at him. "I wanted to follow you as soon as you left, but I wasn't sure you wanted me. Even if I did, it wasn't safe. I had to ensure you were all safe before I left Mexico."

"You left me," I stated, the words left my mouth before I even thought them through. "When I was injured, you left me and never came back."

Edward reached across the small table to touch my arm, but I jerked back before he could reach me. I saw a flicker of hurt in his eyes before he disguised his feelings. "I'm sorry… I know it's not an excuse, but it broke me to see you like that and to know that you were like that because of me… because I brought you into this world. I should have never brought you to Mexico. I can see that now. Hell, I should have never hidden the fact that I had lost my job, or listened to Paul's hair-brained schemes. I'm sorry. I could spend the rest of my life telling you that fact and I know it would never be the enough. I will never be able to right my wrongs."

I sat the coffee cup and on the table and sighed, wrapping my arms around myself. I didn't know why he was here now, telling me all these things, messing with my head when I was just starting to get everything back on track. "I can't do this," I said, pushing my chair back. "I won't do this." I could feel tears stinging my eyes and if I didn't leave here soon I would be a blubbering mess.

"Please, Bella," Edward said, this time grabbing my arm before I could pull away. "I'm not here to ask anything of you that you don't want to give. All I want is the chance to provide for our children and in time, if you allow me, I want to be allowed to see them. I want to be a father again. I won't push you for anything else. I swear."

"I don't need your money," I snapped. I really wanted to ask him why he suddenly had money as I was sure Carlisle hadn't just forgiven the debt he owed, but I didn't. I wasn't in a position to know and the less I knew the better.

"Maybe not, but I have a responsibility to provide for my children. A responsibility I haven't been fulfilling for some time. I would like to correct that now. I don't want to be one of those deadbeat dads. I was never one before I lost my job and I don't want to be one now. So please, allow me to pay for my, our kids."

I sighed. "Fine. Okay. Give me your number and I'll be in contact."


	60. Chapter 60

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 60**

I didn't like the idea of Edward giving us money, even if he said it was for the kids. We had managed without him. We were managing without him, but at the same time, why should the kids have to do without certain things when he was willing to help out? If I could give them a better life with his help and I should, they deserved it after everything they had been through. It was for that reason that I sent him a text with my new bank account information. I told him we would be grateful for his help, but I would only accept $500 a month. This way I still felt as if I was in control. I could put money away towards a new car and in time I could look for somewhere for us to rent.

You can imagine my surprise when I was at an ATM the following day and I had $100,000 in my account. I was furious when I read the account printout. I felt violated. I had given him my account information. I had trusted him and he had broken that trust. I called him straight away, screaming into the phone as soon as he answered. "I don't want it!"

"Don't want what?" he asked, all smooth and calm.

"You know exactly what I am talking about. I don't care how you do it, but I want it out of my account and I wanted it out now."

"You agreed to let me pay my way."

"No. I agreed that you could pay $500 a month, nothing more."

"You agreed on that amount. I didn't."

I threw my free hand up in exasperation. "You told me that you weren't going to force me into anything."

"No. I told you I wasn't going to force you to _give_ anything you didn't want to give. I was up front with you about what I wanted when it came to the kids."

"Not $100,000 up front you weren't," I snapped a little too loudly as a few strangers had turned to stare at me.

"Look Bella, you need the money. I'm in a position to give it. Please just take it."

"I don't want it, and just where exactly did you get that kinda money anyway? I thought you were in debt?"

"This isn't a conversation I want to have over the phone. If you wish to discuss it, I'll come pick you up, we can talk it over."

"There is nothing to discuss. You can come and pick me up. We'll go to the bank so that I can give you your money."

"Okay, fine," he sighed. "If that's what you really want, tell me where you are and I'll come and get you."

I gave him my location and hung up the phone. I was relieved that he was going to take the money back, but I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about seeing him again.


	61. Chapter 61

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 61**

Edward didn't leave me standing around waiting long, which was just as well because the longer I stood there the angrier I felt. When he picked me up, he arrived in a Porsche 911 Carrera, clearly he wasn't struggling for cash now, but that didn't mean I was going to let him waltz into our lives and throw money at us.

We barely spoke a word when I got in the car, but he didn't appear to be annoyed that I was forcing him to take the money back. It wasn't until I realized that he wasn't going in the direction of the bank that I lost my shit. "Where are you going?" I snapped, "this is the wrong way."

He shrugged. "I have a few house viewings this afternoon. I thought you would like to come with me."

"Have you lost your goddamn mind? I asked you to take me to the bank. I want you to take me to the bank."

"Bella, you can't go and withdraw that kinda of money without giving the bank notice and even if you could. I wouldn't take it back. It's for you and the kids. Consider it a back payment if it makes you feel any better."

"No, it doesn't make me feel any better. I don't want your blood money, Edward. The kids and I will manage without it."

"It's not blood money," he said, glancing at me. "No? Are you gonna tell me that you had a lotto win? The last I knew you were in debt. That was why we all ended up in this mess in the first place."

"I'm no longer in debt."

"What!? Has Carlisle suddenly developed a sensitive side and decide to let you off the hook?"

"No, he hasn't. Carlisle is dead." His words hung in the car like a thick, suffocating fog. I wanted to ask him what happened to Carlisle. I wanted to know if he had killed him, but at the same time I didn't want to know. "Stop the car!" I yelled. I felt sick. I had to get out of here. I had to get away from him.

Edward pulled the car over to the side of the road and I didn't waste another second. I jumped out the car, hurling the contents of my stomach all over the sidewalk. He appeared at my side a second later, pulling my hair away from my face and rubbing my back soothingly. When I was finished, he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to me. I looked up at him as I wiped my mouth, unsure what to say or what to think.


	62. Chapter 62

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 62**

"I didn't kill him if that's what you're thinking. I won't lie and say the thought hadn't crossed my mind because it had. I would do anything I could to keep my family safe, but as it turns out I didn't need to. A hit was put out on Carlisle. We don't know who was behind it yet, but Emmett is now in charge. Jasper is his right-hand man and I am released from my debt."

"He released you, just like that?"

"Not exactly, he promoted me. I'm now in charge of things over here. I no longer need to get my hands dirty. I just have to ensure that everything runs smoothly stateside."

"I, uh, don't know what to say."

"He knew I would jump at the chance to be close to you all. He can understand why I tried to steal from them. He knows what it's like to be down on your luck and desperate, but of course, once you've been a member of their organization, you're a member for life. There is no getting out. He's done whatever he could for us and I appreciate it, but this is as good as it gets for me. I can understand if you never want me back, but I promise I will do everything in my power to keep this shit away from you and the kids. They'll never know what I do for a living."

"But Edward you were on the news. People know who we are. Even Jacob is still snooping around on the odd occasion. I don't see how this can't come back to harm us."

Edward sighed, pulling me in and placing a tender kiss on my forehead. "Don't worry about that, Bella. I'll handle it. Let me do all the worrying." His show of affection surprised me, making my stomach quench with untapped emotions. "So… how about you come with me and view those houses now? I'd like somewhere that the kids can sleepover, when you allow it of course. So I want it to be somewhere that you approve."

I thought it would be a long time before I felt comfortable allowing the kids to have a sleepover. I also didn't think us spending time together was a good idea, but at the same time, I wanted to see where he planned to stay, should we ever get to that stage. "Okay, I'll go with you, but I have to back in time to get the kids from school."


	63. Chapter 63

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 63**

I guess I was naive. I had expected Edward to view houses similar to what we had lived in before, but that wasn't the case. We viewed three houses that afternoon and all of them were ten times better than what we ever had. I was a little envious. I couldn't help, but wonder what it would have been like if we were still together, if we were actually here searching for a new home as a married couple. I could have seen us happy in any one of the houses. There was no doubt the children would love either one of them.

I sighed as I stared out the back window, looking into the backyard, picturing the children playing there. This house held the promise of a happy future, a future that I wouldn't be part of. I wondered if Edward would move on now. Would he find himself someone else? Would we divorce? The thought of him with another woman made my stomach churn. I didn't see any way of us being together, not after everything that had happened, but the thought of him with someone else… I couldn't bare it.

"What do you think?" Edward asked, walking up behind me.

"It's perfect," I said flatly, not daring to turn around to face him. I didn't want him to see the emotions that were currently dancing across my face. He obviously didn't feel the same way because he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around until I was looking at him.

"Talk to me," he said, his eyes scanning every inch of my face. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged attempting to take a step back, but there was nowhere to go. "Nothing is wrong. I'm sure you'll be very happy here. It's a nice house. The kids will love it."

"But?"

"No, buts."

"Why do I feel like there is something you aren't saying?" I never answered and before I could brush past him, he reached out and cupped my face, staring deep into my eyes. "You're upset. Talk to me."

"We're not together anymore, Edward. You don't have to do this. You don't have to try and support me. I agree that we have to be civil for the kids, but I won't expect anything more than that from you, and I understand that you'll want to move on, find someone to share this house with. I'm okay with that too."

"Someone to share this house with, what are you talking about? Bella, listen… I have no interest in finding someone else. I don't want anyone else. I still haven't given up on us, and I'll always be there for you, even if we aren't together. You are the love of my life, the mother of my children. No one will ever compare to you."

I could tell that he meant every word of what he said, but I didn't see how it was possible. "Edward, I don't see how we can ever get passed everything that has happened. I'm sorry, but I don't. I just can't forget and move on."

"I'm not asking you to forget, but if you are willing to try, then I'd love to try."

"I, uh… I can't. I'm sorry." I pushed past him and rushed out the room, tears streaming down my face. I didn't even wait for him to take me home. I called a cab and got out of there as fast as I could.


	64. Chapter 64

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 64**

Edward blew up my phones for days after I ran out on him. It was call after call, text after text. I ignored every each and every one of them, deleting his messages without even reading them. I was scared that he said something that would break me. Yeah…that was the reason I was avoiding him. I was trying to protect myself from being hurt again. I hated to admit to myself, but hearing that he didn't want anyone else, hearing that he wanted to try, that called out to a part of me that I had tried to bury deep. I wasn't sure we could ever be together again, not after everything that had happened, but part of me wanted to try too.

He must have gotten fed up of being ignored because he showed up at the cafe where I worked, a bunch of flowers in his hand and smile on his face. "What are you doing here?" I hissed, glancing around to make sure the manger wasn't there. She wasn't happy with friends/family visiting during working hours.

"I wanted a cup of coffee," he said, taking a seat at a booth. "You do serve coffee, right?"

"Yeah, we serve coffee."

"Good," he said, setting the flowers down on the table. "You know how I like it. Just like I know carnations are your favorite." I glanced at the flowers on the table to see that's exactly what they were. Edward reached out and grabbed my wrist before I could walk away. "Both of us may have changed, but in some ways we are still the same. We still know each other. You know how I like my coffee, just like I know your favorite flowers. I also know that you like to sleep with your feet on my side of the bed. You hate when I don't change the coffee filter and you cry when animals get injured in movies. We still know parts of each other and after all the years we've spent together, it would be a shame to throw that away. I know you're scared, Bella, but we can take it slow. I won't rush you. I promise."

I shook my head. "I still haven't told my mother that you are back in town, or Emily and Sam. I haven't told anyone because I'm partly ashamed. I haven't told them, but they have to have an idea of who you have become. What will they think? I'm still worried that they know or they will find out what I did before… I'm worried that the kids will find out too. That they'll think I am a failure of a mother, or that we were both failures. I just… this isn't how I envisioned our future."

"I get it," Edward said, standing up and turning to face me. "You're worried and scared, but no matter what happens, I'll be there for you, Bella, even if we aren't together. I'll help you through whatever the future holds." He pulled me into his arms then and held me against his chest and I let him. It felt good to have his strong arms wrapped around me and for the moment I let everything else drift away.


	65. Chapter 65

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 65**

Edward insisted on taking the kids and me out for dinner after I finished work, and they finished school. I wasn't sure going out with them in tow was such a good idea. I didn't want to give them the wrong idea in case Edward and I didn't work out, but at the same time I knew it would do them good to see their dad. It would maybe even do us good to have a buffer.

I didn't tell my mother where we were going and who were going with, for fear of what she would say. So instead I lied to her, saying that I was taking the kids out for a surprise. Luckily, she didn't push the issue. At the moment Rosalie was the only one who knew Edward was back in town, but I knew it wouldn't stay that way forever.

"Where are we going?" Oliva asked for like the thousandth time. She wasn't fond of surprises or walking, and I had arranged to meet Edward a few blocks away. Thankfully, he hadn't pushed the subject.

"We're almost there," I assured her.

"Look daddy!" she exclaimed, pointing at a car that pulled up beside us.

Edward smiled and the two kids went racing from my side to greet him. "Cool car," Jackson said approvingly, as he opened the passenger door and slid inside.

"You like it? Maybe I'll let you have a shot," he said, ruffling his hair.

"Really!?" Jackson exclaimed.

"Of course, but only in a secluded area, we wouldn't want you getting into trouble."

"I want a shot too, daddy!" Olivia yelled, pushing her way into the car. She climbed over Jackson and into the tiny backseats.

"You got it, princess," Edward said, smiling at her before he turned his attention to me. He tapped Jackson on the shoulder. "Hey bud, why don't you climb in the back with your sister and let your mom have the front seat."

"What? She's coming with us?" he asked shocked.

"Yeah, I'm taking you all out for dinner."

"Does this mean you're getting back together?" Olivia asked, grinning from ear to ear.

Edward went to answer her, but I jumped in first. I didn't want to give either of the kid's false hope. "We don't know what it means yet. We're just taking it slow and seeing what happens, but… no one knows that your dad is back in town and I would like to keep it that way. For now."

"You mean you want us to tell lies, mom?" Olivia asked.

Edward laughed. "No, Olivia, it's not a lie. Just a little secret. You know how to keep a secret, right?" She nodded her head and Jackson moved into the backseat.

"You know everyone is going to find out sooner or later, right?" Edward asked as I took the front seat. I nodded, but I was praying for the later part.


	66. Chapter 66

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 66**

Edward took us to a restaurant a few towns over, which meant I was able to relax and enjoy myself. Instead of worrying who we might bump into. The kids really seemed to enjoy having their dad around and I had to admit, it was nice to be able to relax, to be a family and forget about our troubles for a while.

We ate dinner, followed by chocolate cake. After that, our stomachs were full so we went to the nearby park. Edward was pushing Olivia in the swing while I ran around with Jackson playing tag. It felt so good, so natural to be like this. It made my heart hurt that things couldn't stay this way forever. It would be so easy to just run away with Edward and the kids, and pretend that none of that other shit ever happened, but I knew that wasn't realistic. It had, and we were all changed because of it. I knew if Edward and I were to work I had to find a way for everyone in my life to coexist, that included my mom and friends, though I wasn't sure if that would ever be possible. There was also the issue of what Edward did, though I didn't know the details… exactly. I knew it was on the wrong side of the law.

"Hey mom," Jackson said, constantly tapping my arm. "I said you're it."

I shook my head, realizing I must have zoned out. "I'm sorry," I said, looking down at him.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward asked concerned, from his place by the swings.

"I'm fine." Just as I replied there was a long bang somewhere near us. Edward immediately grabbed Olivia from the swing and rushed toward us. He placed himself protectively in front of us all and scanned the area. "What are you doing?" I asked, looking around us. What was he looking for? Were we in danger?

"Nothing," he said after a minute, shaking himself off. "I guess I'm a little jumpy. Hey, why don't we go back to the car," he said, turning to the kids. "I've bought a new house if you want to come and see it?" Both of the kids jumped for joy, asking a thousand questions a minute as Edward ushered us back to the car. 'Where was his new house? Were we all going to stay in it?'

I followed along quietly, but I couldn't help but notice that Edward kept looking around us as we walked to the car. Was there something he wasn't telling me? Were the kids and I in danger?


	67. Chapter 67

**A/N** : Thanks Sherry

Big thank you for all your reviews/favs/follows

I will try and update The Rub & Alpha as much as possible, but please remember it is really close to Christmas and I have three kids xx

**Chapter 67**

I was surprised to find out that Edward had bought the third house that we had viewed. I guess that was the one that he thought had made the most impression on me, or maybe I was being foolish and his choice of purchasing it had nothing to do with me. He had bought it because he liked it himself. He had even manged to furnish some of the rooms.

Jackson and Olivia loved it of course. They spent ages running around the house arguing over whose room was who's. In the end, I found myself in the kitchen watching the two of them play in the backyard through the same window I had last stared out of.

"They seem to like it," Edward said, walking up behind me and placing his hand on my shoulder.

I turned around to look at him, realizing my mistake as soon as I did it. He was too close. I could feel the heat from his body, his breath on my face and the stare of his intense eyes. I tried to push him away, knowing that I needed to have some distance between us if I was to think clearly for the conversation we were about to have, but Edward didn't seem to feel like giving me the space I needed. He refused to budge. "I…" I said, opening my mouth to protest, but he captured my mouth with his before I could even get the words out. His kiss was soft, gentle. There was no rush or urgency to it and when he pulled away, he ran his thumb over my lips as he stared down at me.

"I've been waiting to do that since I picked you up."

I pushed against his chest again and this time he took the hint, stepping back and allowing me the room to think. "At the park," I began, "what was that? Is there something going on that I should know about? Are the kids and I in danger?"

"I'm sorry," Edward said, reaching out and touching my cheek with the tips of his fingers. "I didn't mean to scare you. I guess I'm just a little jumpy after what happened to Carlisle. There is no reason to think that you are in danger, but I guess with us being out in the open and not being able to see anyone I wasn't willing to take any chances." I breathed a sigh of relief. "But I won't lie to you, Bella… being who I am, there will always be people who will want to hurt me… and in turn hurt the ones I love. You are my weakness, there are people out there who will seek to exploit that, whether we are together or not."

I pushed past him, trying to allow his words to sink in. We were his weakness. We would also be in danger now because of who he had become, even if we weren't together. The kids were in danger and I was out of my depth. I couldn't protect them. The thought of any harm coming to them gripped me hard, crushing on my windpipe and choking me. I fell to my knees as I struggled for breath, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Edward got down on the floor with me, pulling my back against his chest, urging me to breathe. He whispered reassuring words in my ear as he held me tight against him. He talked me down off the edge and when I finally felt the pressure gone, there was only one question I needed to ask. "How do we keep them safe?"

"You move in with me."


	68. Chapter 68

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

Big thank you to everyone who nominated me in the Twific Fandom Awards xx

**Chapter 68**

Move in with Edward? I thought it was the worst idea in the world, but no matter what I thought, I would do anything to keep my children safe and that even included moving in with Edward. My mother was furious. Emily and Sam weren't any happier either. Even Rosalie didn't like the idea, but what could I do? Could I live with myself if something happened to them knowing I could have done more to prevent it? The answer was certainly no. They were my world and I would do whatever it took to protect them.

"Bella, think about this!" My mother was roaring at me as I tried to pack up our stuff. Thankfully the kids were at school.

"I have thought about this," I said, trying my best to avoid looking at her. My eyes were filled with tears. I was hurting her. She didn't understand my choices, but how could she without me breaking everything down for her. "Please, mom, just let this go. I'm trying to do what is best for my family."

"No," my mom snapped. "I can't. I won't. I don't know all the details, but I know enough, Bella. The girls say he basically forced you from the bar. Then he went to your home and kidnapped the children. Do you have any idea what it's like to not know where you are or if you are okay? I worried myself sick… The day you came back I couldn't have been any more relieved to have and hold you in my arms. I never slept that night. I just watched you all sleeping. I couldn't believe you were home, that you were safe. I have no idea what happened when you were gone, but I know what I saw when you came back. You were broken. You tried your best to hide it for the kids, but I could see it. I could see what he had done to you."

I sighed. She wasn't making this easy and I doubted anything I said to her would make her understand… anything but the truth. It was a risk telling her everything that happened, but maybe it was the only way I could salvage our relationship. I didn't want her to hate me, resent me. Surely as a mother, she would understand? I took her hand and led her to the bed. I sat down and she followed suit, then I opened up to her. I told her everything. From the scheme Edward got wrapped up into, to my new job, the cartel and everything that happened in Mexico. I explained how Edward couldn't escape the life he was now in, and by association, we could end up being a target, and that was why we were moving.

She sat very quiet during the whole ordeal, but her expressions were more than enough to let me know what she was thinking. When I was finished, Edward walked into the room to ask me if I was ready. I had arranged for him to come over to take our things to the new house. My mother got up from her position on the bed and walked over to him, slapping him hard across the face. I have to give it to him. Edward never flinched or reacted. He just stood there. My mom gripped his shoulders after that and stared deep into his eyes. "You take care of my babies. You keep them safe," she said, then she walked out of the room. I wasn't sure what to make of her reaction, other than it meant she was no longer going to fight me on this. She at least understood that I had to keep my kids safe.

"Ready?" Edward asked, turning to me as if nothing had happened.

I nodded. I was as ready as I ever would be.


	69. Chapter 69

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry!

It's almost here! Ekk! So Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays! Whatever you're doing, I hope you have an amazing time. xx

**Chapter 69**

We took mine and the kid's things to the new house and then we went to pick up the kids from school. To say they were excited would be an understatement. They bounced in their seat the entire ride home, and it wasn't just the fact that they were getting rooms of their own with new furniture and accessories. They were happy that we were all going to live together. I just prayed that I wasn't giving them false hope and that everything was going to work out. I reminded myself that they were the reason I was doing this, to keep them safe.

The second the car stopped the two of them jumped out and raced toward the house. I screamed at them to stop, but they didn't listen. My heart was in my throat as my mind filled with thoughts of someone lurking nearby waiting to hurt them. "Hey," Edward said, laying my hand on his arm. "It's okay. We're safe here."

"Safe?" I looked at him confused. How could he be certain we were safe when he hadn't been here?

He got out the car and came around to my side. He opened the door and took my hand, leading me to the house. The front door was already open by the time we got there and the kids were running around the house screaming like crazy people. He led me to one of the downstairs living rooms, only now that it was furnished it wasn't a living room, but an office. Two men were sitting at desks watching computer screens that contained images from inside and outside the house. "This is Felix, and Randall, our security team. It's their job to keep you and the kids' safe when I am not round. They will keep an eye on the house, take the kids to school and escort you anywhere you need to go."

I glanced at the two men and then back to Edward. "Is that really necessary?" I whispered. I didn't like the idea of two strangers following me or the kids around.

"It's a precaution," he said, rubbing my arm. "I would rather have you protected than wait till something happens and realize that I should have taken further steps."

"But you said we weren't in danger."

"As far as I know you're not. Like I said, it's a precaution. These are my two most trusted men. I wouldn't trust just anyone with your safety. Please Bella, don't fight me on this. Allow me to take whatever safety measures I can."

I didn't get to answer him. Olivia came up and caught my hand. She pulled me upstairs to show me her and Jackson's bedrooms. She then showed me the one that Edward had furnished for me. He had gone all out. While I was grateful, I hope he realized we weren't going to be so easily bought… well, I wasn't. The kids on the other hand…


	70. Chapter 70

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry!

I hope you all have an amazing New Year, however you are celebrating!

**Chapter 70**

Getting used to people following you around isn't easy. I didn't like it. I would even go as far as to say that I resented Felix and Randall. Though they didn't seem to care if I was happy with their company or not. They did their job and that was it. I could either get on board with the idea or not. The kids, however, seemed to loved Felix and Randall. They had even gone as far as dismissing me from school drop offs and pick ups. Now one of the bodyguards picked them up. I didn't like that either.

Edward had also been pushing for me to stop working at the café. He said there was no need for me to work now. I could find more enjoyable ways to fill my time. I guess I was just being stubborn by refusing to stop working here, but it was good, honest money and it was my money. I preferred picking up a few shifts here than being stuck in the house while the kids were at school. While I worked, either Tweedledum or Tweedledee sat in one of the booths, waiting and watching. I guess that bugged me too. They were always watching, taking in my every move. I felt like I was always under surveillance. I also wondered how much they reported back to Edward. Did they tell him who I was talking to? Did they even go as far as to look up who I was talking to? Wasn't that an invasion of the person's privacy?

On this day, I was so fed up that I chose to do something that Edward would probably consider stupid, but he was out of town so it wasn't like I would have to deal with him untill later. I just wanted a few hours by myself, with no one watching me. I didn't think it was too much to ask. I told my boss that one of the kids was sick and I had to pick them up from school. I slipped into the breakroomto collect my things, and then I used the back door to escape. I felt like a teenager sneaking out of my parent's house. It was exciting, thrilling and I vowed that I would need to do it again.

I went into town and bought myself an ice cream. When I was finished I took a walk to the nearby park. I sat down on one of the benches and closed my eyes, soaking up the sun. My peace and quiet didn't last long though. While I sat there with my eyes closed Tweedledee's voice filled my ears. "Mrs. Masen?"

I opened my eyes to see Randall standing beside me. "How did you find me?" I asked, annoyed. Was I that predictable?

"We have our ways," he smiled. "Mr. Masen would like you to come home now." He motioned me towards the car that was sitting by the edge of the park.

"Of course he would," I said dryly. "Is he home now?"

"No, he won't return untill later."

Well, at least there was that. I reluctantly got up from the bench and made my way to the car wallowing in defeat.


	71. Chapter 71

**A/N:** Big thank you to Sherry for all that she does. xx

**Chapter 71**

"What the hell were you thinking?" Edward hissed as he walked into my room, not even bothering to knock. Thankfully, it was late and the kids were already in bed fast asleep. I had kinda been hoping to be asleep when he returned so that I could miss out on this heated discussion, but no matter what I did, sleep seemed to have evaded me.

I sighed, placing my book down on my bedside table and looked up at him. "I just wanted five minutes to myself. The kids weren't with me. I wasn't putting them in danger. So I honestly don't see the problem."

"The problem?" Edward snapped, grabbing his face with frustration and taking a deep breath before he looked at me again. "You do remember what happened in Mexico, right? You do remember what almost happened? This isn't just to protect the kids, Bella. This is to protect you as well. I go away for one day. One day and the minute I am out of sight, you start acting out. How am I supposed to concentrate on what needs to get done if I am too busy worrying about you and how the hell are your guards supposed to keep you safe if you won't cooperate?"

I rolled my eyes. "You are being unreasonable. Of course I remember what happened in Mexico. Do you think that shit is easy to forget? But we aren't in Mexico. We are home. In the town we grew up in. I am safe here and you are just being a pompous asshole."

"Pompous asshole," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head. "Bella," he sighed, walking over to the bed and sitting down beside me. "I know this isn't easy, but you have to work with me here. How do you think the kids would feel if something were to happen to you? This isn't just about keeping them safe, it's about keeping you all safe. None of us would ever be able to live without you. Just…please, no more running off. Work with me here."

"I am working with you Edward. Moving into this house was the last thing I wanted, but I did it. I did it for the kids. So don't accuse me of not working with you. I will do anything to keep them safe, but I will not bend to your every whim, not when it comes to me and about what I want. If I want five minutes to myself, then I'll take it… And while we are on that subject, how the hell did your lapdog find me? Did you bug me somehow without my consent?"

Edward stood up and shook his head. "You're upset. I get that. I'll give you time to cool off," he said, before turning and leaving the room. That only made me angrier. He wasn't about to dismiss me like a child.


	72. Chapter 72

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 72**

"Hey," I shouted, getting out of bed and following after him. Not thinking twice that I was wearing a skimpy night dress. I grabbed his arm and forced him to turn around to look at me. "I'm not done with you. You don't get to dismiss me." Edward didn't say a word as he took in what I was wearing. His eyes drank in every inch of me. I squirmed under his intense gaze, but I refused to let him know that he still had any effect on me. He hadn't earned that. "My eyes are up here," I said, pointing to my face.

Edward blinked a few times before slowly moving his focus up to my face. "I'm sorry. Bella, I know you are upset, but please, let's not do this. We'll talk in the morning once we've both calmed down."

I hated that he was trying to be the good guy. He was the reason we were in this mess. I also hated that I wasn't getting the reaction out of him that I wanted, so I pushed him as hard as I could. I caught him off guard and he stumbled back a little, but he quick to right himself. He never reacted though. I had expected him to grab me, or at the very least shout and scream. That only pissed me off more. So, I went to push him again, but this time he caught my wrists. "Don't," he warned. "You're playing with fire."

I laughed because that may work with his men, but it didn't work with me. I wasn't frightened of him. Edward didn't appear to like me laughing at him. He spun me around and pushed me against the wall, holding my hands above my head in a tight grip. I let out a gasp the second my back hit the wall. He had caught me by surprise. "Let me go," I growled.

Edward ignored my protest. He ran the back of his free hand down the side of my jaw as his eyes raked over my bare flesh. "It would appear that we both have some pent up anger. Maybe we should work on releasing it."

I laughed again, but it sounded false, even to my ears. "You're delusional if you think I would want to release it with you."

"You don't?" Edward smirked. "So if I were to say… put my hand in your panties. I wouldn't find your pussy dripping and ready for me?"

I squirmed under his hold. Okay, so maybe he was right. Maybe I had been picking a fight and provoking him for this very reason. I wanted him to fuck me. Hard. Fierce. Only I hadn't been willing to admit what I wanted, even to myself.


	73. Chapter 73

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 73**

"Don't," I whimpered to Edward, "don't you dare." My words said one thing, but my body said another. It had been so long since I had felt his touch, so long since we had been intimate. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss what we used to have. I missed my husband, my childhood sweetheart, my lover, but the man before me was none of those people. He just looked similar. The man before me spoke to me in a way that none of them ever had. He was vulgar, dirty and I kind of liked it.

Edward let go of my pinned hands and moved his hand down to my throat, holding it with just enough pressure to keep me in place as his other hand slipped inside my panties. I immediately squeezed my legs together to stop him from reaching his destination, but he wasn't having any of that. He used his foot to kick my legs apart and applied a little more pressure to my throat. "Behave," he warned.

The second his fingers pushed inside my slick folds and met with my clit my legs buckled and I let out an embarrassingly loud moan. I would have slid down the wall had it not been for his hold on my throat. He had barely touched me and my body was already singing with pleasure. "Please," I moaned. The word escaped my lips before I even realized I had said it. I shook my head, trying to deny that I had said it. "I mean… please don't."

Edward smirked. "You want this. I know you want this so there is no point in denying it. Your pussy is drenched, aching for me." As if to prove his point he pushed two fingers inside me and I called call out in ecstasy. "Careful," Edward said, leaning in and whispering in my ear, his hot breath doing more to me than I cared to admit. "The kids are asleep and if you kept screaming you are going to wake them up."

I glanced around. I don't know why I hadn't realized before. I had been too caught up with him, but we were in the hallway, the kid's rooms were just down the other end and I was sure the security team could probably see every second of this on their the CCTV feed. "Let me go," I said, pushing against Edward's hand on my throat, but he wouldn't listen.

He shook his head. "You ain't going anywhere. I'm going to fuck you against this wall until you can't stand, then maybe in the morning we can have a civilized conversation, but first I'm going to make you come all over my hand." He started pumping his fingers into me fast and hard as if to prove his point. It didn't take much for me to explode all over his hand. If it had been anyone else I would have been embarrassed by how quick and messy my orgasm had been, but this was Edward, my husband.


	74. Chapter 74

A/N: Thanks Sherry xx

Chapter 74

"You good?" Edward asked, taking his hand from my throat and tilting my head to make me look at him. I nodded, gripping onto his arms. My legs felt weak and I think I had lost the ability to speak, but good didn't even seem to cover what I was feeling. That was… amazing. I was glad that Edward hadn't listened to my stubborn ass. I may have been telling him this wasn't what I wanted, but he knew me enough to see through my bullshit. I wanted him, I wanted this. I just hadn't been ready to admit it.

"Don't stop," I whimpered, squeezing his arms.

Edward smirked as he pulled his hand from my panties. He ran his fingers over my lips, smearing them with my arousal. I opened my mouth and sucked his fingers inside. Completely turned on by how dirty we were being. Don't get me wrong, we were never boring when it came to sex before, but we were never dirty either. He had never dominated me. All of this was new, exciting and I couldn't get enough. Edward pulled his fingers from my mouth and placed them in his own, moaning as he did. "You taste amazing, Bella. You have no idea how much I've missed you. Tell me you've missed me too?" His eyes stared into mine imploring me to say the words, but I couldn't. I wasn't there yet. I had no idea what we were doing just now. I had no idea if this was just sex, if we were just blowing off steam or if we reconnecting. I just wasn't ready to break down that wall yet. So instead of answering him, I leaned forward, pulling his fingers from his mouth and kissed him hard, trying to convey everything I felt. I hoped he understood.

Edward grabbed hold of my ass, lifting me up as he deepened the kiss. I wrapped my legs around his waist, moving my hands from his arms to his hair and tugging him closer. It could feel his erection pressed against my core and it was only making me desire him more. I needed him, wanted him now. "Please, Edward," I moaned.

Edward broke away from the kiss, moving his mouth to my neck. The spot that usually drove me crazy and made my toes curl. He hadn't forgotten. He sucked and nipped at my sensitive flesh, causing all sorts of delicious sensations. I rolled my head back in pleasure, leaning against the wall and savoring every second of his sweet torture.


	75. Chapter 75

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 75**

"Tell me that you've missed me, Bella," Edward demanded as his hand moved to cup my breast. "Tell me you want this as much as I do." I shook my head. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't. I was scared, worried, that when I finally let that last wall fall down that there would be nothing left to protect my heart. It was already too fragile and broken.

"Let's not talk about this now," I said, tugging his hair and pulling his head until I was looking into his eyes. "No more talking. Just fuck me."

Edward stared at me a moment before relenting. "Okay, but in the morning we're having a talk."

"In the morning," I agreed. I kissed him then, hoping if I kept his lips busy he would keep to his promise and keep all conversation for the following day. He wasn't happy with letting me having the control though. He wanted to be the dominant and I can't say I didn't like that idea. He grabbed my hair, holding my head in place as he kissed me hard, punishingly, until we both had to come up for air.

He unzipped his trousers, which wasn't an easy task considering our position. He slipped my panties to the side and coated his dick in my arousal before thrusting himself home. I gasped at the sudden feeling of fullness. I could feel every inch of me stretching to accommodate him. It had been far too long since I had accepted him into my body. He had been my first and there had been no one since him. I realized then that there would be no one after him either. He was it for me. If we didn't work out there would never be anyone else.

Edward's moved his hands to my hips, his fingers biting into my flesh as he relentlessly pounded into me, going harder and faster until I was unable to think of anything else other than the pleasure he was giving me. I was completely lost in the haze of our lovemaking and for the first time in a long time I no longer felt like a part of me was missing.

Neither of us lasted long. We were both too worked to draw it out. After we both spent our release, Edward carried me through to his bed where we cuddled and reconnected several more times before falling asleep. We both had stuck to our promise, not another word had been spoken between us, but I knew that in the morning we were going need to have that talk.


	76. Chapter 76

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry x

**Chapter 76**

When I woke up the next day the sun was high in the sky and the house was filled with silence. It was the first time in a long time that I had slept so soundly. Edward was nowhere in sight so I could only assume that he'd gotten up to deal with the kids and send them off to school. I got out of bed awkwardly. I was stiff and sore in places that hadn't ached for a long time, but it was a good pain. I didn't regret what we had done last night, at least not yet. I helped myself to one of Edward's t-shirts before I made my way downstairs.

It took several minutes of searching rooms before I found Edward in his office. He was sitting at his desk working on his laptop, but when he looked up and saw me he closed it and held out his hand, beckoning me to him. I went to him without any hesitation. _That was new._ He took my hand once I was close enough and pulled me onto his lap, smiling as he tucked my hair behind my ear. "Hello Sleeping Beauty, I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to wake up. I didn't want to wake you so I got the kids ready for school on my own. I hope that was okay?"

"I appreciate it. Thank you."

"You hungry?" As if answering his question, my stomach rumbled. "Come on," he said, standing me on my feet. "I'll make you something to eat." He took my hand and led the way through to the kitchen. He sat me down at the kitchen island as he began to pull ingredients from the fridge. It was strange just being with him like this. Relaxed. No one yelling or screaming. If I were to shut my eyes, I was sure I would be able to pretend that we were back in our old kitchen and that none of that other shit had happened. We were just two people in love, living our lives, but sadly too much had happened for us to pretend otherwise.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked as he placed a plate down in front of me. I opened my eyes, blushing. I hadn't realized that I had actually closed my eyes and was reliving old memories.

"Nothing," I said, looking down at the plate, anything to distract myself. Edward had made me an omelette. "This looks good." I picked up my fork and began eating. Edward grabbed himself a plate and sat down beside me. For several minutes we sat in silence, just eating, but soon I knew we would be finished and our talk would begin.


	77. Chapter 77

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry x

**Chapter 77**

Edward cleared away our empty plates and then took his seat again, turning to me. "So where do you want to begin?"

I looked down at my nails, picking out imaginary dirt. I honestly didn't know where to start with this mess. "I guess we start at the beginning and go from there," I said, glancing up at him. Edward nodded. "Why didn't you tell me you had lost your job? Why didn't you come to me, treat me like your wife? We could have worked through it together. We could have both looked for jobs. We would have made it work, somehow."

Edward nodded. "I know I should have. I regret every day that I didn't come to you. Like I said before I was ashamed. My foolish pride got in the way. I kept thinking that I would find something and everything would fix its self, but before I knew it too long had past and bills were starting to mount up. I don't want you to think that I didn't think of you as my equal and that was the reason I didn't come to you because it wasn't. I just didn't want to let you down. We had agreed that you would stay at home and look after the kids. It was my place to provide for you and I failed. That kind of a thing eats a man up. I wanted to fix it before you found out. I didn't want to disappoint you and let you down."

"And you thought the best way to do that was going on some hair-brain scheme with Paul?"

"No… yes, I suppose I did. I was desperate. I shouldn't have listened to him, but I did. I live every day knowing how lucky I am to have survived that ordeal. He didn't. His life of scheming eventually caught up with him. If Emmett hadn't stepped in I wouldn't be here. I may have done some pretty awful things since then, but I don't regret any of it, not really, it brought me back to you and the kids. I would do anything to be in your life. I know I shouldn't have taken you to Mexico. It was selfish, but when I heard what you were doing for money. I couldn't stand the thought of you degrading yourself." He held up his hand as I opened my mouth to speak, to defend my actions. "I don't blame you for what you did. I know you weren't left with much of an option, but I hate the thought of you having to dirty your hands because of the situation I left you in. You were my innocent, pure wife. I was the only man you were ever with and because of what I had done you had to go out there and… I was frightened it wouldn't stop at hand jobs, Bella. So yeah, I brought you to Mexico to be with me because I couldn't stand the thought of you being with anyone else. I wanted to fix things. I see now that it was wrong to show up the way I did and take you back with me. I should have found a way to send money, but everything I earned went straight to Carlisle to pay off my debt… I blame myself for everything that has happened because I know I am the only one to blame. I just hope that there is a way for us to move past all of this and be together again. I don't want anyone else but you."


	78. Chapter 78

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 78**

"Has there been anyone else?" The question was out my mouth before I had the chance to think it through. Did I really want to know the answer to that question? What if there had been someone else, could I handle the fact that Edward had been with someone other than me? I looked down at my hands and braced myself for his answer, but I was only greeted with silence.

When I glanced back up at Edward, he was staring at me, like he had been waiting for me to look at him again. "No, Bella. There has been no one else. There has only ever been you. I got into this mess trying to provide for my family. I wasn't looking for anyone else. I'm still not looking for anyone else. I only want you. I admit I am not perfect. I am going to be overprotective and controlling at times and it's going to drive you crazy. I've changed. The world I live in isn't so simple now. It's dangerous and filled with risks, but I honestly don't believe you would be in any less danger living your life without me. People know who you are and what you are to me... You are my weakness, Bella. The only way it could work is if you were to go into hiding and even then there is no guarantee you would be safe."

"I don't want to go into hiding. I can't, I won't do that to the kids. You've changed, I know that. We both have, but I can't promise I won't fight you when you become too controlling or if I don't agree with something you do."

Edward smiled, getting off his chair. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He closed the space between us and pulled me into his arms. "So does that mean we are going to do this? We're going to try and make it work?"

I looked up at him and nodded. "Yes, but I wanted to know more about your job. What does it entail? What does it mean for us as a family?"

"It's my job to oversee things here in the USA. I will be handling shipments, ensuring that things are running smoothly and dealing with any issues that may arise. I can't really go into more detail than that, but as to what it means for us as a family. I promise you that I will do my best to keep family and business separate. I will keep it away from the house, the kids. Other than having security around it really shouldn't affect you any other way."

"Okay, is there anything you want to ask me?" I asked. Edward shook his head. "You don't want to know why I worked at The Rub or if there has been anyone else?"

"I know why you worked there. I may not like what you had to do, but I understand why you did it. As for there being anyone else, I know there wasn't. I may have been unable to come back home and check on you, but Emmett came for me when he could. I know there wasn't anyone else and even if Emmett had been unable to come and check on you. I would have still known there was no one else. You aren't the sort of woman to run into another man's arms."

"So you don't count… you don't count what I had to do?"

"No, I don't count what you had to do as cheating, but I'd rather not think of it either."

I agreed with him on that, I'd rather not think of it either. I sighed, leaning into his chest. I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I hoped that meant we could begin to move on in the right direction, we could begin to heal.


	79. Chapter 79

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 79**

After our talk I went upstairs to shower. I was supposed to be showering on my own, but Edward joined me. I guess he still hadn't spent enough time reconnecting with me, not that I was complaining. He took me up against the shower wall, with my legs wrapped around his waist as we both stared into each other's eyes. When we came it was blinding, powerful. I think a little bit of my heart even healed just then.

Afterwards we dressed and went to collect the kids from school. Edward was taking us out to dinner to celebrate. "Mom," Olivia exclaimed when she got in the car. "You're smiling." Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. What did she mean I was smiling? It wasn't that rare of an occurrence, surely? "I'm so happy to see you smile again. Does this mean you and daddy have made up?" she asked. Even Jackson sat in the backseat quietly waiting for my answer.

I glanced at Edward, who offered me no backup whatsoever. He just sat there grinning at me. I punched him playfully and turned my attention back to Olivia. "I'm happy because dad is treating us to dinner."

"Because you've made up?" Jackson asked.

"Because we've made up," Edward agreed, his eyes connecting with Jackson's in the rear-view mirror.

"Excellent."

I glanced back to Edward as he started the car. The kids buckled in and we drove away from school. It was scary just how observant kids were. We tried to protect them from everything in life, but no matter how much you tried to shelter them, they still saw things that you didn't want them to see. Edward reached over and squeezed my hand before bringing it up to his lips and placing a kiss on my knuckles. I relaxed then, realizing there was no point stressing about what the kids had or hadn't seen when it came to my unhappiness. We were moving on and that was in the past.

"So where do you guys want to eat?" Edward asked, looking in the rear-view mirror at the kids.

"McDonalds!" they both exclaimed.

"McDonalds it is then."

We went for dinner. We ate, laughed and when we came home the kids pulled out some board games and we played with them. I hadn't had so much fun in such a long time. It made it so easy to forget about everything else and to just concentrate on my family. After all, they were the only ones who were important.


	80. Chapter 80

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 80**

I had finally allowed Edward to convince me to stop working at the café. Today was my last shift. He was right. I didn't _need_ to work here, run off my feet and coming home exhausted. Not when money wasn't an issue. That didn't mean I hadn't learnt my lesson from last time. I still had the money he had put into my bank and it would stay there, gathering interest. A nice little safe egg, should anything go wrong. Not that I planned on anything going wrong, but then life didn't always stick to the plan.

My shift was almost finished, Tweedledee, okay, Randall was sitting in his usual booth watching. Edward had already texted to say he was on his way. He was picking me up, taking me home to shower, and then we were going out on date. My mother was babysitting at our house, with Felix's supervision of course. But before I could clock out some more customers came in. No big deal. I would take their order and the waitress on the next shift could serve them when they were ready.

One of the customers, a short, fat man with a comb-over, who looked like he had seen far too much sun sat down at the opposite end of the café from Randall. At the time I didn't think anything of it. The other two guys, who almost reminded me of my very own Tweedledee and Tweedledum, sat at a table in the middle, somewhere between Randall and me. I went to short guy first. "Are you ready to order or do you need another minute?" I asked, as he glanced over the menu.

He sat the menu down and looked up at me, the second our eyes connected I felt like someone had walked all over my grave. He reminded me of someone, but I couldn't place who. The guy was practically undressing me with his eyes and he wasn't trying to hide it neither. "I'll take the blowjob."

"Excuse me?" I asked, certain that I had to have misheard him.

"You heard me. Get on your knees, bitch and suck me." There was no mistaking the thick Mexican accent that accompanied his voice, but although the man was familiar, I didn't think I had met him before.

I glanced toward Randall, he was up and out of his seat, but the two goons were blocking his path. That was when I realized that was exactly what they were, goons. Randall struggled against them, but they had already disarmed them. He stood no chance against the two of them.

"You know," the man said, drawing my attention back to him. "I was surprised to find out that someone like Little Finger would keep something so precious unguarded. I was even more surprised when I did my digging and found out that his wife was a whore. Does anything for money, or so I've heard. If money had been the issue my son could have easily paid you, after he raped you, but then does it really count as rape if he is paying?" He pretended to think about it for a second before continuing. "Your husband had no right to kill my son over a filthy whore." He spit on me then, like I was nothing but trash. His spit ran down my face, but I was too scared to move to even try and wipe it off. I was like a deer caught in headlights. I knew I had to do something, but I was struggling to process what was happening.


	81. Chapter 81

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 81**

"On your knees," the man barked. I could tell he was losing his patience, but there was absolutely no way I was getting on my knees for him. If Edward didn't get here in time I knew I would be dead anyway. I could only hope Randall had managed to alert him before they had managed to disarm him. My only hope was to buy as much time as I could, but I wouldn't do that by sucking this prick off.

I wondered where the rest of the café staff was. The café was eerily quiet. Were they in the back hiding? Were none of them coming out to help, not even the cook? He was a fairly big guy. But then, did I really want any of them getting hurt because of me. No, they were better off hiding or getting anyway from this place as far as they could. I prayed they hadn't been as stupid to call the cops, that could result in a shootout, hostages and people getting hurt.

The asshole must have moved while I was caught in a daze because he was out of his seat now, grabbing my hair and pulling me to the floor. My head bounced off the edge of the table, making my eyes spin to the back of my head. He kept his grip on my hair as he unfastened his buckle and unzipped his trousers, freeing his dick, letting me know just how excited he was by all this. I pulled against his grasp on my hair, trying to get away. I was sure I could hear Randall shouting, but everything was a blur.

The next thing I knew was two strong hands were lifting me up and pushing me to the other side of the room, away from everyone. Edward. Edward was here. He placed himself between me and the monster. I couldn't see his face, but I could tell by his stance that every part of his body was boiling with rage.

"Arcadio," Edward said with a snarl. "You dare come into my town and touch my wife."

Arcadio, so that was the monster's name. He didn't seem to be the least bit concerned by Edward's hostility. He simply zipped up his pants and buckled his belt before standing up. "You didn't think twice before coming to my town and killing my son. So why should I care about your town and your _whore_?"

"Raul tried to rape my wife. He deserved to die, and the town was never yours. It was Carlisle's. You overstep your reach Arcadio."

"Yes, well, Carlisle agreed with you and you saw where that got him." I gasped. So he was the one who had killed Carlisle. If he was able to kill Carlisle without being caught, that meant he probably had the power to kill all of us right now and no one would be the wiser. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run to Edward and seek comfort, but I stood my ground, trying to reassure myself that he knew what he was doing.


	82. Chapter 82

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 82**

"So you were the one who took Carlisle out," Edward said, more of a statement than a question. "Tell me Arcadio, did you think you would be able to take his place?"

Arcadio laughed. "I don't _think_. I know. While I stand here talking to you, my men are attacking the compound. It won't be long until Emmett is dead. If you want I can arrange for you to be buried together. I hear you have got quite the - what do you American's call it? - bromance?"

The sounds of police sirens approaching reached my ears. I silently cursed that someone had been stupid enough to call the cops. I didn't know what this would mean for Edward and Randall. Arcadio glanced to the side toward the sound, and that was when Edward made his move. As fast as lightening he pulled a knife out from under his suit jacket and threw it at Arcadio. It struck him at the exact moment he turned back to face Edward, piercing through his skull. Arcadio was left with this dumbfounded expression on his face as he dropped to the floor.

Randall started wrestling the two guards and Edward quickly pulled out another knife, throwing it at one of the goons, hitting him in the chest. Randall broke the remaining guard's neck, before turning to the other guard and twisting the knife in his chest, ensuring he fell.

I ran to Edward. He opened his arms and held me tight, whispering assurances that everything was going to be alright, but I wasn't sure how he could be so certain. Not when the cops were almost here and we had three dead bodies.

When the cops arrived, Jacob was one of the first out the car with his gun drawn. The three of us went outside. Edward and Randall lay their weapons on the ground and held their hands up in the air. I held my hands up in the air, not sure what else to do. "We are unarmed," Edward said to Jacob. "There are three bodies inside, they were killed in self-defense." The next thing I knew the three of us were being pushed to the ground and handcuffed. Edward reassured me again that it would be okay, before he and Randall were led off to police cars and I was left on my own.

Jacob lifted me off the ground and moved me away from everyone else. Some place private. I could barely stand to look at him. I didn't know what he was thinking, but I knew he was probably judging me. The two of us were now on different sides of the law. "Bella, what happened?" I shook my head. I shouldn't say anything, not without a lawyer present. "Talk to me Bella. Tell me what happened."

"I can't."

He put his finger on the bottom of my chin and tilted my head until I looked at him. I didn't see judgement in his eyes, only concern. "I know about Mexico. I know that you and Edward are back together and about his new role in the cartel. Talk to me." I opened my mouth, surprised. How did he know? I had never talked. He had always pressed me, but I had refused to tell him anything. "It's okay," he assured me. So I talked. I told him about everything that had happened in the café.


	83. Chapter 83

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 83**

After I spoke with Jacob, he went to speak with some of the other officers. When he returned, he took the handcuffs off and guided me toward his car. "Where are we going?" I asked nervously. By now Edward and Randall were long gone. I presumed they had been taken to the station. Was Jacob taking me there too? What would happen to me when I got there?

"I'm taking you home," he said, opening the passenger door and urging me inside. "I'm sure by now the kids will be frantic, worrying where you are."

"I don't need to go to the station?"

"Not today, but we will need you to come in tomorrow and make a statement. I think you've been through enough for now."

I sat down and looked up at him. "What about Edward? Is he and Randal going to be okay? I mean, what they did, they did in self defense. If they hadn't… I could be dead."

Jacob placed his hand on my shoulder and sighed. "I'm sure Edward will be fine. His friends will get him out of any trouble he is in." He closed the door after that, not giving me a chance to ask him what he meant. Of course, I could have asked him when he climbed in the driver's side, but I didn't. Instead, I sat in silence, pondering what he meant. I was certainly going to ask Edward the next time I saw him.

When we arrived at my house, Jacob escorted me up to the door, where Felix was waiting. Jacob looked like he wanted to say something, but then thought twice about it. "Take care, Bella," he said, and then walked away.

"Thanks Jake," I mumbled before Felix guided me inside and closed the door. I could hear the sound of the kids playing in the other room. They seemed oblivious to anything that had happened and for that I was thankful. "Have you heard from Edward?" I asked Felix, concerned.

"Not yet, but I'm sure he will get in touch as soon as he can."

"And the kids don't know anything?"

Felix shook his head. "Not a thing and neither does your mother."

For that I was grateful. "Thanks Felix. Let me know as soon as you hear from him." I walked to where I could hear the kids playing, straightening my hair as I went and trying my best to look 'normal'. My mom was the only one who looked up when I walked in the room. I gave her a small smile and sat down on the couch.

"You finished late," she said, eyeing me. "I thought the two of you would have left already. Where's Edward?" she asked, glancing over my shoulder.

"He had to work late too," I said, shrugging my shoulder. "I guess we will have to rearrange our date to another night." Olivia and Jackson came rushing over to me, both of them wrapping their arms around me for a hug. I may have held on a little longer than needed.

"Are you hungry?" My mom asked, getting up from her spot on the floor. "You look worn out." I wasn't hungry, but it was easier to agree than have her worrying and fussing over me. So I nodded. She headed out the door, saying something about fixing me something to eat and I sat with the kids, listening to them talk about their day. Just grateful that I was still around to hear it.


	84. Chapter 84

**A/N:** Thanks Sherry xx

**Chapter 84**

Edward didn't come home till late. By then my mom had gone home and both of the kids were in bed. As soon as he walked in the door I ran to him, wrapping my arms around him and holding him tight. "I was so worried."

"It's okay. I'm okay," he assured me, holding me equally as hard. After a few minutes had passed, he pulled away and looked down at me. "What about you? How are you holding up?"

"Yeah, I'm doing okay." And really I was. Edward had come to save me and no one I cared about was hurt. The kids were none the wiser. Everything was fine. I mean… it could have been a lot worse. I was just so thankful that it wasn't.

I caught sight of Randall lingering in the background and turned my attention to him. "Thank you for doing everything you could to save me."

He shook his head. "You should never have been in that position Mrs. Masen. I'm sorry it got that far."

"You didn't know. Neither of us suspected they were a danger until it was too late."

"Still… it was my job to know. I've already handed my resignation in. I'm gonna go pack my things and head out."

I moved out the comfort of Edward's arms and went over to Randall, grabbing his arm. "No. I don't want you to go. I don't accept your resignation. The kids like you. I like you. I don't want to have to get used to someone else. Anyway, if there is one thing I know, after everything that has happened, this will only make you're more vigilant to ensure nothing like this ever happens again. Please, stay."

Randall looked from me to Edward seeking reassurance. To which Edward nodded. "Okay, Mrs. Masen," he said, turning his attention back to me. "I'll stay, for now."

"Good." I smiled at him and then went back to Edward's arms. Needing the assurance and comfort he offered. "What happened at the station? Are you being charged? Jacob said something about your friends helping you. What did he mean? And is Emmett okay? Was the compound attacked?"

Edward kissed my head and began leading me toward the stairs. "We're not being charged. The police are treating it as self defense, and Emmett is fine. I called him on the way home. The compound was attacked, but they were able to defend it."

"What about your friends? Did they play a hand in you getting out?"

Edward smiled. "Yes. They certainly helped move things along."

"Who are your friends, Edward?" I asked, pausing at the top of the stairs. "Surely the cartel doesn't have that kind of sway?"

"No, they don't," he said, walking away from me and heading to our room. He went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, and began taking off his clothes.

"Well?" I asked, growing more than impatient.

"Take off your clothes, Bella," Edward ordered, getting in the shower, and for some reason I did as he asked. I stripped and stepped in behind him, eagerly waiting his answer. He leaned in close to me and smiled. "You never know who could be listening in," he whispered. What? I had no idea what he was talking about. It was as if he was talking in riddles. "I work alongside the CIA, Bella. They approached Emmett and I after Carlisle died. We help them ship drugs into the country and for our cooperation our slates were wiped clean."

"But you said-"

"I know what I said," Edward said, putting his finger over my lips. "But no one can know our involvement with the CIA and after this shower is finished, we will never speak of it again. Do you understand me?" I nodded. "An opportunity presented itself to me and I took it. We took it and hopefully one day I will be able to walk away from all of this. One day we will hopefully be free."

I looked up at him, trying to take it all in. "But Jacob? How does he know?"

"When I moved back to the states I took him to the side and spoke to him. I knew he would be all over me if I didn't. He's not happy about the situation, but he knows he's too small time to take on the likes of the CIA. Jacob won't open his mouth for fear of the repercussions."

He had told me to stop worrying about others and let him deal with things and now I understood why. He had already dealt with Jacob and he had the backing of a major government agency. I no longer feared him being taken away from me because of his crimes. Sure, this didn't mean that life would be smooth sailing. He would still have enemies. We would still have enemies, but we were now united together and as long as we were working with each other instead of against each other, nothing would bring us apart. We would find our happily-ever-after, one way or another.


	85. Chapter 85

**Chapter 85 - Epi**

"Are you nervous?" I asked Edward as I fixed his tie. Today was his first day at his new job. He would no longer be trafficking drugs, unlike Emmett. He was going to work for the CIA to be a Crime Consultant. Edward had worked hard over the past few years to get to this point. It hadn't been easy on any of us and I was under no illusion that our lives would become any less dangerous because of his new job. It wasn't as if the CIA were clean. Hell, I wasn't even supposed to know that was where he was going to work. He had only confessed the fact in one of our shower conversations. Yeah, there had been a lot of these over the years. Our first was supposed to have been our last, but it wasn't. He had kept me in the loop when he could.

As far as I and anyone else were concerned, Edward had a new job at some big business cooperation. To say my mom was relieved by his change of work was an understatement. I think all of my friends were happy that we were turning our lives around. Not that I was as close to Emily, Sam and Rosalie as I once was, but that was okay. I could understand them not wanting to associate with criminals, and I was a criminal by association. Jacob had also kept his distance over the years, but that was okay too. It was understandable.

"Not nervous, relieved," he said, placing a kiss on my head once I had finished with his tie.

"I better go downstairs and save you some food before the kids, Randall and Felix eat it all." I left him in the bedroom and went downstairs to the kitchen. Where I found the four of them sitting at the kitchen island fighting over the breakfast I had cooked earlier. "Save some for Edward," I said as I smacked Randall's hand who was reaching for seconds. He smiled sheepishly before lifting his coffee mug and taking a drink. We had grown close to the of the guards. They're more like brothers to us, and uncles to the children. I couldn't believe I had ever been so reluctant to have them in the beginning. They had kept us safe more times than I cared to count over the years. I was so thankful to have them in our lives.

Edward walked into the kitchen seconds later and grabbed a piece of toast before pouring himself a coffee. "Is that all your having?" I asked. I had gone to the effort of making a big cooked breakfast for his first day.

"It's all I have time for," he said, taking a bite of his toast. On that note, the others wasted no time tucking into the food that was left. The children included. Olivia and Jackson were getting so big now. Olivia would soon be finishing elementary and Jackson was already in middle school. They were growing up too fast, but they had turned into well rounded children, considering everything they had been through. I was just so thankful that our shit hadn't affected them like I had feared.

"At least it won't go to waste," I mused.

Edward came over to me and placed a big, wet, sloppy, toast filled kiss on my lips. "I'll see you when I get home." I watched him say goodbye to the kids before I went about cleaning the kitchen up. I would see the kids off to school before I went to my office to check through emails. I had set up the Olivia-Jackson Foundation shortly after our lives had settled down. The foundation helped local families in need. It could mean paying their bills, help buying food or simply providing them with someone they could talk to. I didn't want anyone to ever find themselves in the situation we had. I didn't want anyone ever to feel alone, isolated like we had.

So this is our lives. It was far from perfect, but we were making the most of it. We were together and we were happy. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

The end.

 **A/N:** A huge thank you to Sherry! I love _this_ woman something fierce and would be so lost without her. She does so much for me, more than just looking over my stories. She kicks my ass when I need it, feeds my muse and helps me plot n plan. Without her I am sure there would be no StillDreaming85.

A huge thank you to all of you too for your continued support, story after story. I wouldn't be here without you either. Thank you for reading/reviewing/following/faving The Rub. It took me longer to complete it than I would have liked, but we got there in the end. I plan to finish Alpha next and then back to working on TTTB xx


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